Giancarlo Stanton Is Getting $325 Million Over 13 Years From The Marlins, So Our Red Sox Dream Is Dead

It looks like that could be that for the Giancarlo to the Sox fantasy. That’s not to say it will never happen, Giancarlo won’t finish out a 10 or 12 year deal in Miami. But, that’s that for landing him before he’s 30. You’d think I’m mad about it but I’m not at all. In pursuing via the internet for the last year, I’ve come to love Giancarlo (as a friend, don’t be gross). And this is like your friend getting a great job and having to move away. You’re sad to see him go, but you’re happy for him at the same time. There isn’t a thing on this here planet earth that I wouldn’t do for 320 million dollars. Not. A. Thing. Go ahead, think of something. I’ll do it! Don’t even need to hear you out, I’m in. So, good for Giancarlo. I’d have no problem taking that kind of money to play for a shitty franchise, in front of zero fans, while living in a hellish state. Because that hellish state doesn’t have an income tax. In that case, fuck a World Series ring. I’ll buy 10,000 of them on eBay off idiots who took less money to play for a contender and are now broke.

PS – How mad is AL MVP Mike Trout right now? 6 years for 145 million? Haha, see you at the soup kitchen dude.