Fire Up The Outrage Machine: Dillard's Had A Sign In The Girls Department Asking Santa For "A Big Fat Bank Account And A Slim Body"
SOURCE – Most girls have long lists for Santa: a bike, an Elsa doll, a brand-new backpack. That sort of thing. Not, we hope, a skinny figure and wads of cash. But one mom posted a photo of this sign, which she saw in a Florida Dillard’s girls department: “Dear Santa, This year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don’t mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks.”
“What would a little girl want with a bank account?” shopper Sally Stewart asked WPTV. “It gives the wrong message about having a slim body.” Dillard’s told WPTV that the sign was put in the Girls department in error, and has since directed all stores to remove the sign from sales floors entirely.
What would a little girl want with a bank account and a slim body Sally Stewart asks? Oh, I don’t know, maybe just a lifetime of happiness and security. I get that everybody loves to get outraged these days and complain about any little thing they get a chance to, but are we gonna blatantly ignore how the world works in doing so? Everyone in the world wishes they were attractive and rich. Some silly sign at a mall isn’t going to change that one way or the other. Hot people get treated nicer, get better jobs, and overall live better lives than ugly people. If you’re a girl that means wishing you were skinnier with a nicer ass and bigger tits and if you’re a guy that means wishing you were taller with a barrel chest and balls that are smooth as eggs. Wanting to be hot is only a gender issue because “feminists” have decided any girl that likes being pretty has been brainwashed.
More importantly, if you don’t want money you’re a straight up loser. Money is the best thing in the entire world and having more of it makes you better than anyone that has less of it. The author of this article thinks that girls should have bikes and Elsa dolls and backpacks on their Christmas lists? First of all, girls shouldn’t be riding around on concrete where they might fall and scar themselves up so let’s nip that in the bud and make that bike a stationary, but you know how you can get all those things? With money. Name something that a four-year-old girl might want: a new puppy? Bust out the check book and you’ve got it. A Barbie Dreamhouse? Just a credit card swipe away. A hairless 19-year-old virgin from just outside of Tehran? She has pretty sophisticated tastes for a toddler and she’ll probably have to pay cash, but the point still stands. You don’t have to like that beauty + wealth = happiness, but you can’t pretend it isn’t true. @EricBarstool