Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Pennsylvania – A Tulpehocken High School physical education teacher was arrested Wednesday and charged with having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old male student. Nicole Kurowski, who was also a cheerleading coach, surrendered to authorities and was arraigned on an institutional sexual assault charge… State police said the teacher was engaged in a sexual relationship with the student during the 2012-13 school year. Troopers said a few instances of indecent contact occurred during school hours… State police investigators recovered text messages and pictures with the assistance of the Berks County District Attorney’s Computer Crimes Unit and the state police Bureau of Criminal Investigations. The text messages were analyzed and it was apparent that Kurowski and the student engaged in conversations on a daily basis during and after-school hours, troopers said. Photos and messages stating “I love you” were exchanged between Kurowski and the student, troopers said. Some messages were sexually explicit, trooper said.
Is it me, or are gym teachers rapidly taking over the Sex Scandal Teacher game? According to my exhaustive research (ie, a random guess I’m taking because I’m too lazy to spend more than five minutes on this blog), they’re right up there now with Spanish and Math teachers in sheer volume of SST stories. It’s like the Phys Ed department is starting to become what Dominicans are to baseball or Samoans are to football, that demographic that’s represented way out of proportion to their actual population. One can only assume it’s for the same reasons those other two groups have done so well: Because they want it more. It’s part of their culture. Years spent around sweaty kids in shorts, walking around locker rooms, watching them climb ropes and getting all handsy with them… something just must over take you. And if you’re going to join the SST game, you’ve got to do what our girl Ms. Kurowski did here and go big. Bang the kid on school grounds. Sext messages. The works. Just like they used to say about why the Dominicans are such free swingers, walks aren’t gonna get you off the island.
Featured on Barstool
The Grades:
Looks: Um, sure. She’s OK. Not great. More jock-y than hot. I keep wracking my brain to come up with what celebrity she reminds me of, but unfortunately all I’m getting are dudes (Dennis Quade, anyone?), but I don’t want to kill the buzz. Let’s just say you’d do it and give her Grade: C+
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Again, not one of the greats, but all the elements are there. Doing it during school hours. On school property. The evidence trail of (presumably) nude texts and “I love yous.” If John Farrell was writing this, he’d praise Nicole for the compete level. Grade: A
Intangibles: Imagine an athletics coach from Pennsylvania, involved in having sex with underage boys right on the premises. If she was only a couple of years older, Joe Paterno could’ve put her on the staff. Grade: B
Overall: B. Good, but I don’t think she’ll have what it takes to make the cut at the end of the year. The roster’s getting pretty tough to crack.
[Thanks to @mproulx16 and @McHugh who were in a statistical dead heat sending this to me] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.
