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Great News: Chick-fil-A Officially No Longer Hates Gay People

Source - After courting controversy for years, the fast-food chain Chick-fil-A will no longer fund two organizations that have historically opposed same-sex marriage.

The Atlanta-based restaurant chain has come under fire from LGBTQ+ activists for reportedly donating millions of dollars to two Christian charities: The Salvation Army and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

The company told ABC News Monday that it was refocusing its donations to groups centered on “hunger, homelessness and education” beginning in the new year.

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Thank you Jesus! Homophobia in the chicken industry has ended and all is right in the world. It only took eight years of consistent protests to get those religious weirdos over at Chick-fil-A to change their ways. Now all they have to do is stay open on Sundays and they’ll be fully in the twenty-first century. Having said that, I still think Dan Cathy, Chick-fil-A’s CEO, is a bit of a cunt considering how long he held out. As a businessman, you’d think he’d understand the value of capturing the LGBT market. Then again, I don’t know many gay guys who consistently eat chicken sandwiches either- we’re more a juice press crowd.

Here’s a statement from the COO:

Tim Tassopoulos, the president and COO of Chick-fil-A, added that “no organization will be excluded from future consideration — faith-based or non-faith-based.”

Ending on ‘faith-based or non-faith-based’ makes it seem like he’s a child reluctantly agreeing to go time out, but I digress.

To be honest, I’ve never had a problem with Chick-fil-A. What I do have a problem with is people telling me what I can and cannot do based on who I am. Which is exactly what Dan Cathy has been trying to do ever since he opened his fat fucking mouth in 2012. But that was then and this is now. Chick-fil-A the the organization took a step in the right direction and that’s something we can be happy about.