A Brief History of the Bills Mafia's Billdo

There’s not much not to love about the Bills Mafia. Or the Patriots annual trip up to Orchard Park, surrounded by those tens of thousands of beautiful souls. It’s always been a circle-you-calendar event. Made even more so by a simple inspiration that has taken the nation by storm. The greatest overnight sensation to hit America since the Beatles.

The elegant, noble, splendid Bills Mafia dildo. The Bildo.

No one knows who invented the Bildo. He’s a hero who’s chosen to keep his identity a secret, probably to protect his loved ones from those who wish to do him harm. Or to protect his season tickets. It could be that I’m making gender-based assumptions here and the genius in question is a she. Regardless, like so many great ideas, his/her creation has inspired others to follow in his/her mighty steps.

We’ve had two more  Pats @ Bills games since that first one back in 2016. And the Mafia has not disappointed. To the point now there are outlets laying odds on an appearance this Sunday. The money line currently stands at YES -140 | No Even.  And there’s no question my money is on the fourpeat.

So with that, a look back at the three years (and counting) history of this national treasure.

October 30, 2016. The Patriots win 41-25. More importantly, an inspiration is born.

This one in the vicinity of Chris Hogan.

Gronk responds with the perfect mic drop line.

December 3, 2017. The Patriots win 23-3. An inspiration becomes a tradition.

Nice to make your acquaintance, Britt Johnson. The intended targets appear to be Danny Amendola and Brandin Cooks.

Here it is again, in slow mo.

October 29, 2018. The Patriots win 25-6. The tradition goes national on Monday Night Football.

The official kicks it off the field. And, presumably, burned his shoes in a blast furnace afterwards.

Though after that game we found out that for some reason, there are laws against lobbing a rubber ex toy onto a football field. Because the mastermind behind that one was apprehended and faced criminal charges.

Hopefully that won’t deter this weekend’s crowd to do likewise. How anyone smuggles the thing into a stadium with a clear-bag policy that pat-frisks patrons coming in is between the Bills Mafia and their god. I just believe with all my heart they will not let us down. This time, I’ve got money on it.