You'll Never Guess Which Nuclear Disaster This Vodka Is Distilled From

Anyone else find it a little weird that they’re CAPITALIZING on the Chernobyl meltdown that could have literally killed millions?  Something is REALLY fishy about this right now.  That disaster has made millions and millions of dollars recently and it’s really piqued my interest, which I’ll explain below.

Every day that goes by, the show and the whole meltdown becomes phonier and phonier.  Just STINKS to high heavens.  It’s gotten to the point where I’m not even sure there was a meltdown in the first place.  I mean literally nobody knows how many people died during or because of the accident.  Some figures say 4,000, others say like 40,000.  They’re acting like this was some prehistoric event and we had no means to measure that kind of shit… but it “happened” in 1986.

And I have “happened” in quotes because I’m not quite so sure it did anymore.  I mean this was right at the end of  rule of the Soviet Union, which dissolved in 1991.  What if this was all just some big inside job?  Fake a nuclear meltdown, say millions of people could have died but only a few thousand actually died, abandon the entire area surrounding the plant, wait 30 years until after communism is dead and capitalize the fuck out of the disaster once the dust settles?

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Think about it, tourism is booming, they just had a hit TV show that will surely make millions and win a bunch of awards and now they have goddamn vodka?  It just stinks to high heavens.  I’m on to you Putin, you sneaky little butthole.  This isn’t the commie red mafia that I’ve grown to know my entire life.  Hammer and sickle?  More like shmammer and shmickle amirite?

PS – PFT commenter had this tweet about it:

I would rather take a shot of Malort 100000x out of 100000 than shitty vodka.  Malort is gross, but people act like it’s the worst thing they’ve ever put their lips on.  Shitty vodka like skol tastes like you’re drinking a shot of sandpaper. Even ABP agrees: