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Tommy Tried To Bully Me Out Of This Blog But I Can't Be Controlled Like Him

(This blog is unrelated to our podcast Game Of Stools but subscribe anyway)

In case you missed it or some how went temporarily blind after Tiger won yesterday (and nobody could blame you), our good friend Tommy wrote a phenomenal blog casting Barstool as GoT characters. It was pretty, pretty good. Solidly funny from start to finish. Although I do think he wildly missed the mark with a couple, but whatever.

And like he tweeted above, he knew this specific blog was coming and how “unoriginal” it is and somebody would “overreact.” (He usually only says that about his female coworkers, so yes, he knew it was coming from me specifically.) You can’t be unoriginal if it’s true.

But funny you talk about being original, Tommy…

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Tommy came over to my desk on Friday and asked me which girl I hated the most on the show. I ran down who I like and don’t like and then said that Gilly is incredibly boring. I couldn’t care less about her story line. He got that impish look on his face and walked away. I knew what was coming.

So now we are apparently doppelgangers. Hey, I don’t hate it. She’s not ugly. It just doesn’t necessarily make sense. Nobody understood it other than me. But hey good work, Tommy!

Sure he’s trying to bully me off of writing this completely meaningless blog, but I’m in a phenomenal mood today, so I figured why not play right into his pawn.

What was missing:

Tommy Smokes as…

This is the obvious choice. I mean even Tommy knows it or he wouldn’t have tweeted that it’s been made “a 100 times.” It basically writes itself.

Let’s go.

For starters, has there ever been a bigger “yes man” than Reek is to Ramsey?

The answer is yes. Tommy to Dave Portnoy.

Smokes might be the biggest yes man on the planet. I don’t know if he even knows how to say “no” anymore for fear of what might happen to him. Which is why the entire time I binged this show, I felt like I was looking live at Tommy and Dave when Ramsey and Reek popped up on the screen.


For the record: I’m not insinuating that Dave is a villain like Ramsey Bolton, but then again I guess it depends on who you ask on what day.

Let’s continue shall we?

Ramsey Bolton took Theon Greyjoy in, tied him up, changed his name, stripped him of his pride and made him say ‘I love you.’ He treated him like an abused pet. He used him for his needs and his needs only. But he also “took care of him” jussttt enough to make sure he didn’t forget who his master was.

It was really tough to watch.

Sound familiar Thomas Scabelli Alarmingly Stupid Tommy Smokes???


Sure, Tommy can claim that he’s “acting”. But that’s what all prisoners have to do to convince themselves it’s normal behavior. They’re playing a role to serve their master and eventually their identity becomes that role. Just ask Sansa when she tried to convince Reek he was really Theon and he wanted none of it. He believed he was Reek.

Acting to survive became reality.

Plus, let’s not act like it’s only on the Advisors set. Tommy gets called a USED UP CUM RAG and still comes running right back to his master’s side when called upon. Just like a good Reek would do.

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Emasculating like you read about. Sad.

Folks, this is the real life version of getting your dick chopped off.

Lastly, they have an eerily similar cry face too.

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Unoriginal doesn’t mean false. Case closed.

And again, it really was a great blog by Smokes. Bravo, sir.


Winter is here. The rivalry continues.