Week 3 NFL Rewind - NFC - Always Practice Safe Play Calling

Remember this for later.

Let’s Go.

New Orleans 43 (OT), Atlanta 37

This is how you do a rivalry. Forget that your team lost a humiliating Super Bowl and instead co-opt the now famous scoreboard shirts to dunk on the Saints. Love it.

This was the moment Falcons -1.5 officially lost. Drew Brees can’t be that hard to bring down, I refuse to believe it.

Remember Calvin Ridley? The first round pick out of Alabama? Well yeah, he’s arrived.

“How’d you get Sarkisian to call a play for you in the End Zone? Teach me your secrets”

-Julio Jones, probably.

The Falcons continue to baffle me every which way. One week they can’t score and lose, the next week their offense is absolutely on fire, and still lose. This team is maddening.

Buffalo 27, Minnesota 6

NO ONE CIRCLES THE WAGONS LIKE THE BUFFALO BILLS

What a game from our Stud Josh Allen. Definitely one of those plays where he’s too young to realize you should never ever do this in the NFL. But he survived this one and it gave us an unreal highlight.

Point – It’s just week 3, Vikings, relax.

Counterpoint – Get in that Honda Accord and let it all out my man.

Point – Everyone has let down weeks in the NFL

Counterpoint – Fuck that, let’s smash some glass.

As always the problem with talking shit is the shit will eventually get talked right back to you. A little dissapointed they didn’t go with “You Vike That”, it was sitting there on a platter.

The Bills twitter account, not great on Geography but that doesn’t really matter when you win as 17 point road underdogs.

Underdogs, didn’t even know. Draft Josh Allen forever.

Indianapolis 16, Philadelphia 20

What a jacket for the return.

Carson Wentz was up and down in his return, but plays like this remind you why he’s special

Not saying there’s a conspiracy guys, just saying “look into it”

Nothing screams football guy like being totally oblivious to a condom 3 inches from your mouth for 4+ hours.

So Andrew Luck is back, his shoulder feels good, he’s making plays

Buuuuut, Jacoby Brissett was brought in for the game ending Hail Mary hmmmm.

Whatever, I’m just happy this guy is in our lives again. Gosh Darnit Andrewwwww

Green Bay 17, Washington 31

Jordan Reed, when healthy, is an absolute threat, both on and off the field.  Suck this whole dick Packers fans.

Ok so this Clay Matthews stuff is getting slightly ridiculous. Even I’ll admit these hits being called for penalties are just flat out dumb. That’s a Football play through and through.

And if anything the real harm is to Mike McCarthy’s heart. It can’t withstand these type of calls.

But at the end of the day Clay calling the league soft will help him in the future. You can’t say the S word. The minute you throw the S word on the league shit is in trouble.

Although the irony of the Aaron Rodgers rule hurting the Packers the most is delicious for all us haters, which there are many.

Cincinnati 21, Carolina 31

Cam Newton Fit Check Week 3 – He’s a mix between the Monopoly Man and Penguin from Batman. I don’t even know anymore. How is he going to keep this up for 13 more weeks?

Even in a loss I’m getting roped into Andy Dalton comeback year. I don’t want to do this again but I’m doing this again. Fuck.

Cam Newton also back.

Random pictures that have nothing to do with the game but I love anyway.

Personality Season

The Mad Cattah might be my new favorite superfan. What an outfit.

LA Chargers 23, LA Rams 35

Charger fans don’t get enough credit for being a cursed fanbase. Their team moved. Every season they have tons of talent that never is fully realized, and they still have guys like this that face paint in the LA sun expecting things to be different.

RIP Boltman forever.

There is nothing better than a kicker/punter getting hurt in a game and then seeing the positional fall out.

Hall of Fame holder.

The Rams are an absolute Wagon, and our guy Jared Goff is FEELING IT. Insane to think where he is now after his rookie year.

By the way, I loved the Vikings Thursday right up until I saw these uniforms. Fire.

Now all we need is a new model.

Chicago 16, Arizona 14

Ok, let’s talk Bears. This Defense is incredible. It’s so much fun watching games on Sunday knowing the Defense will show up and wreak absolute havoc. With that being said I think we can all admit Mitch has things to work on. Like I said last week he’s football young. He’s played so few games at a high level that I’m not ready to throw my hands up and say he’s a bust like some people out there. The good, he lead a nice game winning FG drive late and on the road. The bad, a few throws missed and an interception that could have easily happened in the 4th quarter. Patience, patience, patience. Just enjoy this beast and hope the Offense catches up (I Think it will).

Also shout out Coley for bringing the Rewinds back. But also fuck Coley for this tweet from the main account.

As for the Cardinals. I still don’t understand putting Josh Rosen in the end of that game. They say you want to set your young QB up to succeed. Well giving him his first live snap when you’re down late in the 4th quarter against Khalil Mack is the exact opposite of that. Cruel and Unusual punishment by Steve Wilks.

Dallas 13, Seattle 24

Maybe the Cowboys should have traded for Earl Thomas. He could’ve played both sides of the ball for them.

Hot Seat?

This is a wild stat. Almost impossible to do in today’s NFL.

Someone is getting fired.

New England 10, Detroit Lions 26

Bill Belichick walking in to ruin everyone in America’s teaser. Yes everyone.

So I told you to pay attention that video in the top of the blog. Is there anything worse than KNOWING the teaser you’re about to make is going to lose and you still can’t stop yourself from doing it? I know I’m speaking to a lot of you right now, just know you’re not alone this Monday morning, you’re never alone.

So let’s talk about the Patriots. Yes they’ve looked bad in September before, yes I still think they’ll win the AFC East and probably go deep in the playoffs. HOWEVER (Stephen A Smith voice) last night looked different to me. That team is slow on both sides of the ball and the Lions were opening enormous holes in the run game. Now with all that said they’ll probably win 10 games in a row and make us all look dumb. Fuck me.

Absolute rocket. Props to Patricia for going hat forward after the season opening debacle.

Tommy John incoming.

Unrelated to this game, I got this email last week. We’re back boys. We’re fucking back.

Can’t imagine the party these two had last night.