David Wright Will Join The Mets In San Francisco And Continue His Rehab With The Big League Training Staff. What Can Possibly Go Wrong?

I have to admit that when I saw this news, it put a big goofy smile on my face that the Mets haven’t provided in months. The Mets Captain rising from the dead would be one of the few highlights the Mets have given their fans during this fucked up season after that 11-1 start.

Then I remembered how much the Wilpons’ broke asses have to lose if David Wright came off the disabled list and I immediately became terrified.

RUN DAVID RUN!!! The Mets aren’t having Wright rehab with the Big League’s trainers because he is almost ready to get off the 600 Day DL. They are doing it to finally break him, both physically and mentally. I imagine the workouts David will be doing with the Mets trainers will be straight out of Terry Silver’s playbook when he “trained” Daniel LaRusso in Karate Kid 3.

*Writer’s Note: Terry Silver is a first ballot Hall of Fame so bad he’s good movie character*

Instead of letting Wright quietly go about his business in Las Vegas and maybe mistakenly running into the Phoenix Suns training staff that have the magical healing powers of Jesus Christ while on a road trip, the Mets are going to have him fly from Vegas to San Francisco followed by a trip to LA and then a cross-country flight to New York with a training staff that has caught more bodies than The Hound and The Mountain combined. And if he looks good, the Wilpons know they don’t have to spend a lot of money on a bat this winter since they will be acquiring a former MVP candidate at third base. Again, I would be mad if the Wilpons weren’t so good at what they do. However there’s nothing but #Re5pect here for those cheap sons of bitches.