March Is Here. Wear It. | All-New T-Shirts, Hoodies, Crewnecks, Hats and More Now AvailableSHOP NOW

NYPD Pilots Got So Mad At Their Boss They Took A $4 Million Spy Plane And Flew A Route In The Shape Of A Dick

NY POSTFive NYPD pilots were so ­angry at their supervisor that they used a $4 million, federally funded spy plane to fly a route shaped like a giant penis, The Post has learned.

Inspector James Coan, head of the Aviation Unit, learned of the phallic airborne artwork from his minions, who discovered the lewd pattern on the department’s flight-tracking software, sources said.

He alerted NYPD brass, and the pilots were disciplined following a departmental hearing — with two getting bounced from the unit.

31 years old.  60 years old.  17 years old.  5 years old.  It doesn’t matter.  Dick jokes extend through ages and generations in perpetuity.  You are never too old for a good dick joke or some solid dick related humor content.  You’re never too old to draw a dick on your coworker’s or classmate’s notebook when they run to the bathroom then return to find this big veiny triumphant bastard Sharpied next to their quarterly reports.

Which is all a long way of saying, I respect the shit out of these NYPD pilots.

I mean look at what their boss was trying to make them do.

The raunchy route came amid a feud between the pilots and Coan over whether the single-engine Cessna was safe to fly over open water — which is why the feds paid for it in the first place, according to the sources.

In July 2017, pilots were told to fly at low altitudes over open water 25 miles offshore so they could scan ships for radiological weapons.

“If that prop [propeller plane] goes, it’s over. You’re going to crash into the ocean,” a source said they warned their boss, Coan.

“They wouldn’t have enough glide time to get back to land at that altitude. It was like a suicide mission.”

The low-altitude flights also left them out of radar and radio range, sources added.

Basically suicide missions!  Out of radio and radar range, 25 miles off shore, pretty much a death sentence if your propeller stops working.  Fuck that!  I’d draw a dick all over this guy’s sky map too.  Big throbbing one.

The pilots’ pushback intensified this past March, when Coan ordered them to make the runs more frequently, sources said.

Amid their protests, five flyboys took the plane up and flew the penis-shaped route. Supervisors on the ground saw the phallic flight path while tracking the plane and raised the ­issue with Coan.

Good for these guys for standing up for themselves with the one transcendental symbol of “fuck you”:  the big ole dick.