Sad Story: D List Actor With A Slight STD Problem Traps Plane Of Innocent Travelers Inside

Awful, awful story tonight. I don’t even want to blog it because it’s so sad. But I’m a very good blogger so I have to tackle the tough stories, and this is one. As you can see above, D list actor Michael Rapaport stopped innocent travelers from jumping out of a plane today, forcing them to be in a closed space, breathing his same air for HOURS until the plane was able to safely land. Makes me shudder just thinking about it. Thinking about those sad victims who were trying to escape that plane by any means necessary, only for Rapaport to tackle the brave man who was trying with all his might to open the emergency door and give everyone freedom. Tonight, my thoughts and prayers, as well as everyone here at Barstool Sports, are with the passengers of that plane who were not able to jump out at 35,000 feet because of the actions of a pasty man and his herpe sidekick. We here at Barstool would never wish this on anyone, and are willing to help any passenger who had to live through an entire plane ride with this human.