REJOICE! Jeans with Ass Zippers Have Arrived.
Just came across this new type of pants (on facebook of all places) and I think this could be the start of something special.
I know Chaps was interested in the jeans you see below as a way to combat swamp ass this summer.
but I would much prefer these ass zipper jeans. With the Ass-Zips you can leave the zip down while in a casual setting such as a 4th of July BBQ but then zip it up if you head somewhere more formal such as a country club or your grandparent’s house. And even if you’re not a dude with a serious “swass” problem these jeans still have a ton of upside. If your girl was rocking these I’m guessing the average time of a “quickie” would drop from 5 minutes to a 1:30. Think about all you could get done with that extra 3 minutes and 30 seconds? Productivity would go through the roof.
These would also be huge in China as out here parents put their infants in split pants instead of diapers and then just hold them over a trashcan when they have to go to the bathroom (how they know when their kid has to poop/pee I have no idea). The only issue with split-pants is that there’s no way to close them so the streets of China are just filled with baby butt.
The Ass-Zips would solve that problem in an extremely fashionable manner.
Ok this blog was really just an excuse to post these pictures so I’ll stop talking now:
