I Experienced Madison Square Garden For The First Time And Fit In At Croatian Heritage Night With My Weird European Haircut

Vibbs1/12/2019 7:34 PM

Last night the Pacers played the Knicks in Madison Square Garden, which just so happens to be down the road from me now that I live in New York. I knew NBA league pass would be blacked out in the local market, so I figured I’d take my job as a halftime show critic seriously and go record the halftime show in person.

I’ve acclimated to the city well, but every once in awhile the city finds a way to humble me, and remind me I’m a slack jawed simpleton from Indiana. In Indy if you want to buy a nosebleed seat it’s dirt cheap. You can get tickets as low as $10. I figured due to the Knicks being one of the worst 3 teams in the league, and a small market team in town that I could find a ticket in the $20 range. This was my reaction when finding out nosebleeds were $80 …

When I arrived at the stadium I realized that even the worst nose bleed seats in MSG still allow for an incredible experience. If you’re a basketball fan you owe it to yourself to go at least once.

The highlight of the night wasn’t the Pacers win, the electricity in the air, crossing MSG off the bucket list, the halftime show (I’m getting to it), or even laughing every time a I heard “come the fuck on” in a thick New York accent. The highlight of my night was finding out Madison Square Garden was celebrating Croatian Heritage night, and my section was the epicenter of the festivities.

The only things I know about Croatia are …

1. It’s in Europe.

2. Croatia lost 4-2 in the last World Cup to France.

3. Croatians love to keep their socks on in amateur porn.

I was worried I was out of place in my section for not being Croatian, but then I remembered the Russian lady that cuts my hair has been giving me weird $17 Euro haircuts since I got to NYC, so I fit in perfectly. So perfectly that I even made the Jumbotron multiple times as the cameraman scanned through the upper bowl looking for young people showing off Croatian pride.

Wow. Look at the zero guard fade in all it’s glory on the Jumbrotron under the big city lights. If only that view gave you an idea of how straight my bangs are at the moment. I told my friends and family I wouldn’t let NYC change me, but after connecting some of the dots last night, and looking back on some tweets … I’m officially turning into a stereotypical European.

If you see me wearing a jumpsuit next week it’s not because I’m an AWL and want to be a part of Pardon My Take, but because I’m trying to embrace my new way of life as a stereotypical European dude in his late 20’s.

The halftime show was a traditional Croatian dance from the Eastern Mediterranean dating back to the 18th century called Lindo. For a number of factors, including my entire section walking in front of the camera, and the random people next to me making that high pitched small talk that you make when you run into someone you’d consider an acquaintance, the video isn’t great.

If you came here for Lindo and won’t leave satisfied without watching a better quality video of Lindo, here you go. Here is some traditional Croatian dancing performed with a full band below. I can’t not give a halftime show a grade, so I’m going to say a 3/10 for bringing out a stale 18th Century dance to fire up the crowd. My first MSG experience on the other hand was an absolute 9.6/10.

Side Note:

Some of you may have pieced together through the Jumbotron photos, and me only looking for one nosebleed ticket that I went alone to the game. I was going to go with this SUPER hot girl I’m talking to who lives on the upper east side of NYC, but she was busy. Also, you can’t look her up because she’s off all social media, because she says it’s too toxic. I’m also never around her because she travels A LOT for her incredible business career and to goes to visit her family in Canada where she’s from.

You know I’m telling the truth because the comment section is disabled, so why would I make up a fake girlfriend when I don’t have to defend myself?

*frantically thinking of a way to change the subject*

Michael K. Williams a.k.a Omar from The Wire was in attendance last night. As one of the greatest television characters of all time, the only way I would have been more excited was if Walter White or Homer Simpson made the Jumbotron.