A Surfer Bro Stand-Up Paddled Across The Atlantic Ocean
NPR- In the span of 93 days, Chris Bertish crossed more than 4,050 nautical miles of Atlantic Ocean — and he conquered this lonely crossing standing up. When the South African surfer entered English Harbour on the island of Antigua on Thursday, he was riding the same massive stand-up paddleboard that bore him from Morocco’s Agadir Marina roughly three months ago.
Still, if Bertish’s equipment wasn’t much different from when he started, his place in the record books now certainly is: On Thursday, Bertish became the first person in history to make a solo transatlantic journey on a stand-up paddleboard.
At one point, conditions were so rough — and rough for so long — that he and his navigational systems were “just really embattled to just make it through and survive,” Bertish told SUP Magazine in a phone call about halfway through his transatlantic paddle.
“My craft was taking on water, I couldn’t open my hatches, I was underwater most of the time and I don’t think most people understand the severity of that kind of problem,” he continued. “I have a sea grass growing on my entire deck because it’s underwater the entire time.”
Alright Chris, good job. Woohooo you did it. You did something that nobody has ever done, because there’s no reason to do it. I applaud you for raising money for charity–good on ya, mate! But don’t give me the sob story about how tough it was, how you almost died, how your “paddle board” (fucking NASA spaceship) was underwater. Guy’s complaining about some grass growing on his boat like that should make us appreciate the enormous risk he took. Dude… this was your idea. There are plenty of flights across the Atlantic that would get you there in like, 1% of the time it took you to cross, and for way less money. It took you 93 days? Bro, I once got stuck in Iceland because some volcano was erupting and it still only took me like 3 days to get home. Pick up the pace man.
Also, don’t tell me you paddle-boarded across the ocean. You gently steered a nuclear submarine as the current took you to the Caribbean. When your “board” is equipped with satellite weather systems, GPS, and Facebook, it’s not a board.
Advertisement
Lastly, I’ve been paddle-boarding before and it’s fun for 30 seconds. Honestly the most boring shit on earth. Same with kayaking. I like canoeing because it makes me feel like an Indian chief. But stand-up paddling is for the birds. It’s the kind of thing your girlfriend wants to do on vacation, so you rent them for like $100 each and then you hate her for the rest of the trip. The same thing goes for riding bikes and horses. Camels are cool though, because of the way you get on and off of them. They’re also pissed off all the time and remind me of my grandma.