In Case You Missed It: September 19-23
On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. Even if you’ve signed up for the BARSTOOL SPORTS RANDOM THOUGHTS NEWSLETTER (sign up here), there are still some posts that just fall through the cracks. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).
Monday September 19
– A would-be terrorist tried to wreak havoc in New York over the weekend. Turns out he just made New Yorkers even stronger and considerate. People buying Starbucks for cops and hotels giving free rooms to residents living near the Chelsea bombing is what New York is all about.
– Unfortunately, not EVERYBODY in New York is so considerate. And it took Chaps, a guy who lives in Texas, to be the only person to ask Dave if he and his big gigantic brain was okay.
– This dad reliving his glory days while getting his face twerked on at a Notre Dame tailgate should be an inspiration to us all. Just pray that one day you’re a dad getting twerked on and not the father of a daughter twerking on some random dad.
– Caleb interviews all the prospective Barstool Sports Interns. I can’t imagine intern interviews on Wall Street involve testing edibles.
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Tuesday September 20
– Speaking of interns, does Clem need to be worried about Glenny Balls taking his spot at Barstool HQ? I think we need some sort of competition to find out.
– If I had a bowl of Skittles and I told you just three were horrible analogies from Donald Trump, would you take a handful? Sidenote here: I just want it to be known that Sour Skittles are far superior Skittles to the original. I used to down a whole bag of those bitches at once as a kid like a savage. Sure, it would completely fuck up my mouth and make my tongue bleed. But that was a badge of honor for all I was concerned.
– Bart Hubbuch had a really great tweet about the New England Patriots and black quarterbacks. It was so great, in fact, that it forced him to quit Twitter forever. RIP in peace, Bart.
– Speaking of incredible tweets, Phil Kessel buried Team USA hockey 6-feet under after their loss to Canada. All hail Phat Phace Phil.
Wednesday September 21
– You’ll never believe this but Anthony Weiner and his creepy dick found themselves in trouble again. This time it was for ALLEGEDLY having an online relationship with a 15-year-old girl. But I’m sure the stuff he was saying to her was totally fine and … oh holy shit, never mind. Lock him up.
– This little 2-year-old kid who thinks he’s some sort of dinosaur expert can kick rocks. Everybody knows that dinosaurs never existed. God created Adam and Eve and the rest is history. Get your liberal bullshit out of my face, tyke.
– I’d like to formally announce my nominee for Pardon My Take’s Football Guy Of The Week: Carson Wentz, for sneaking in game film under the table on his phone during date nights with the lady.
– AOL wrote up a great piece on Barstool Sports. You can read that here. However, Barstool’s Fact Checking Team had a field day with the article and turns out, it was some shotty journalism based on some misguided information from sources. Hmmmmm.
Thursday September 22
– The Zach Galifinakis “Between Two Ferns” with Hillary Clinton was gold. Nothing more, nothing less.
– Ramapo College was forced to change their America themed BBQ because apparently Uncle Sam is too offensive. I’m almost convinced that college students are just fucking with us at this point. Just testing us to see how much they can get away with before the rest of the world finally snaps on them.
– Speaking of shitheads, Mark Zuckerberg says he’s going to end all disease. Like every single disease. From polio to malaria. All of them. He’s just gonna get rid of them. Ctl-Alt-Del all diseases. What a cocky son of a bitch.
– As a conductor of the Wentz Wagon, I’d be more than willing to let Big Cat on for free as long as he wears that Eagles mascot costume for every game. Looked pretty slimming.
Friday September 23: That is today.
– Our own American Hero, Chaps, put out another podcast of his own this week. Make sure to give that a listen.
– Larry II The Gambling Gold Fish is already off to a rough start this week with his NFL picks. Maybe wouldn’t be a bad idea to watch the rest of his picks and fade his ass this weekend.
Smokeshow of the Week: Lauren from Loyola Maryland
Hope everybody has a great weekend. You’ve earned it.