It's awful late on a Friday afternoon and we haven't posted a smokeshow yet. And I don't want to post a new girl since most people are already gone. Therefore, I decided to do the first Local Smokeshow Curtain Call in the history of Barstool Sports. It's time to bring back out Jen from BU who almost shut down our servers yesterday with people emailing us to tell us that she was the most perfect female in the history of the universe. So come back out Jen and take a bow... Enjoy the weekend! We'll be back tomorrow for the Celts.   

Click Here For More Pics of Jen

For anybody at work or about to drive home Jerry Thornton will be continuing his semi regular Friday appearance on the Mike Felger show. He's scheduled to be on at 5:40. You can stream it on ESPN Boston or just listen in your car.

A legitimate case can be made that LeBron James is, right now, the best player in NBA history. Just last season he single handedly brought a team of undrafted free agents, AAU players and a prison work release unit to the Finals. But against the Celtics, he's put together probably the worst two games of his career. (For all I know, the only bad back-to-back games of his career.) This is in no way intended to mush whatever the Celts are doing right against James, because we all know this can't keep up; that at some point before this series is over, he'll win a game all by himself. But LeBron's play so far is enough to justify make a list of the worst playoff performances against Boston teams by a legit superstar. If James doesn't pick up his play in the next couple of games, he's looking at capturing the top spot. OK, the second spot.

10. C.C. Sabathia, Indians, 2007 ALCS

Sabathia won the Cy Young Award, by a wide margin, in 2007. But against the Red Sox in the postseason he pitched like Matt Young. Sabathia was 0-2, with a 10.45 ERA and put a Gagnesque 19 runners on base in 10.1 innings.

9. No one vs. the Bruins

As my token hockey fan friend says "The Bruins don't stop legends; they make them."

To see the rest of the list, click here...

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NBA.com - Varejao had 10 rebounds in 32 minutes after forward Ben Wallace went to the locker room just 3:40 into the game due to dizziness. Wallace, who attributed the problem to allergies, sat on the bench for the second quarter and took some shots during halftime warmups, but did not return to the game. "As bad as my head was hurting me, it's always hard to be out there and see your teammates struggling," he said.

This is on the front page of AOL. I blogged about it two weeks ago but haven't had time to post it. This is pretty fucking nuts to the point I don't even know if it's real. I mean if you're a fellow surfer and this guy is having a Great White Shark swim right by your face aren't you kind of pissed. I feel like that totally violates the code of the ocean. As a side note, I'd totally drown myself if Jaws swam by me like that just so I didn't get eaten and drown at the same time which everybody knows is the worst way to die.

Umm, dude. You may want to duck.

- Thanks to Steve D for the pic

There are two possible explanations for the way the Celtics are handling LeBron James. Let's start with the most likely: suffocating defense. The King followed up his 2-18 FG, 10 TO masterpiece in Game 1 with a 6-24 FG, 7 TO beauty in Game 2. Paul Pierce and James Posey are doing a number on this guy. And when James manages to slip past them, he finds Perkins and/or Garnett in the paint. Are you watching how the Celtics are defending the perimeter passing lanes? They're acting like cornerbacks, practically baiting the Cavs to swing the ball before swooping in and making the deflection or steal. It's gorgeous. But the Celtics defense can't be this good, can it? The other explanation falls along the lines of LeBron simply isn't making his shots. He said it himself, he's not making shots he normally makes. But if you accept this as the reason, then you must say James is choking. A-Rod style. Through no fault of anyone else, he's underperforming in the playoffs. That's a choke in my book. During the tail end of the regular season I was reminded several times, you don't want to play LeBron because he can take over a series and win it single-handedly. Well guess what - he just might lose it single-handedly. Before you start ripping me for jumping the gun on LeBron, I need to praise Tommy Heinsohn. Everytime LeBron got a phantom foul call, Tommy whined the refs were taking care of "His Majesty." Not to mention this worst non-call in the history of the league came when Paul Pierce got hacked twice on the same drive to the hoop. He had part of his thumb nail ripped off.

Chuck - Red's Army

Alexyss Tylor brings up an interesting point here.   But to be honest I think this is more of a dude problem than a chick problem.   I mean do girls even girls take shits?   I thought they only did cute little tinkles.   At least that’s what the Barstool Girls and Smokeshows do right?   Anyway this little rant brings up an obvious question; How long do you have to date somebody before you’re comfortable doing work in their bathroom?   I think it’s at least a month before you are ready to pull out the magazine and get serious.   I’m not sure how to set up our ranking system for people to vote so just put your answer in the comments section.

I'm already on the record as saying I think Eva Mendez is one of the most under rated chicks in the world. Therefore I was excited when I heard she had some new naked photos out there. But I got to be honest, these photos don't really do it for me. Don't get me wrong I didn't puke or anything, but I just wasn't as excited as I should have been. Nothing will screw up nakedness like an artsy fartsy photo shoot.

Clearly the bigwigs at NESN got my mesage about Heidi wearing that ridicoulous ski jacket on Wesdnesday. Because they trashed the NESN ski parka for a more stylish outfit yesterday. Still WAY too much clothing going on here, but at least it's more stylish this time. She was a whisker away from earning a C-.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, N.J. -- Guidos belong to summer, and summer belongs to the guidos.   Anthony Moussa, 24, who runs a Web site called NJGuido.com, comes alive during Memorial Day weekend, like a Roman statue freed from stone, beautiful. The summer months give shape and meaning to Moussa's life. This is when he parties hardest, staying up to see the dawn. This is when he comes to the Jersey Shore with his buddies and fixes his hair and hits the nightclubs and admires the girls, again and again tipping back the sweet, fruity shot he calls life.   This is when Anthony Moussa achieves the fullest expression of his guido self. This is when he becomes The Moo.

The Washington Post is covering Guidos now? What is this world coming to? I don’t even know where to start with this article.   I mean we’ve been doing Barstool Sports for four years now and I’ve never seen anything like this story.  It’s like watching True Life Jersey Shore and True Life I’m a Jersey Shore Girl all into mashed up into one.   Somewhere Tommy Cheeseballs is smiling down from the heavens.

As a sidenote, youtube took down “You got to be Smiling, You Got to Be Dancing, You got To Be Shaking That Ass!”   Free barstool hat to anybody who can get that video back.

- Thanks to Nicole for the tip

Introducing Alicia Sacramone. She will be competing for the United States in the Beijing Olympics. And in her spare time at Brown University she beats motherfuckers up. Hey China....Come and get it!

(No word on whether that was Lebron James who got knocked out)

(withleather)

Chron.com - Two men and a juvenile are accused of digging up a corpse, decapitating the body and using the head to smoke marijuana, according to court documents. According to documents filed in the case, Gonzalez, Jones and an unnamed juvenile on March 15 went to an Humble cemetery, dug up a man's grave, left with the head and turned it into a "bong."

Is this the weirdest story in the history of the Stool?   Not only do you have to be all sorts of fucked up to use a human head as a bong, but I don’t even understand how it works?  Do you like smoke it out of his ear?   I mean I guess that could be kind of be cool if it really worked and you were the only dude on the block with a human head bong, but it’s still kind of creepy.   

Cleveland-- We are all witnesses. But not everything about the LeBron is worth witnessing. Sure, he has the $400,000 car, Jay-Z in his corner, and Phil Knight wrapped around his diamond pinkie ring. But witness how His Greatness treats the little people, and you may begin to see the virtue of Brendan Haywood's hard fouls... One of LeBron's favorite places to dine is XO Prime Steaks on West Sixth... According to a Punch source, a peer recently quit after tiring of LeBron going Scrooge McDuck on his ass... On this special occasion, the King decides to dine late. He keeps his group there until around 3:45 a.m. During this time the waiter obsequiously pours drinks and fetches anything else His Greatness needs. The final bill comes to $800. By the feudal laws of decorum, which stipulate that the affluent should administer a 20 percent gratuity, staffers figured they'd be pocketing an extra $160. But when they fetched the autographed bill after His Heinousness bolted back to Akron, their expectation turned to disbelief, then anger. LeBron stiffed them with a meager $10 tip. This is what French nobles like to call your requisite Bourgeois Bitch-Slap. The waiter wouldn't even take it, tired of being shat on by guys like LeBron. Still, at least the self-proclaimed King of Ohio didn't pull a Bernie Kosar — who gets sloshed at the bar and then has to remind the waiters of who he is before he stiffs them.

The Celtics-Cavs series finally has what every playoff series needs to be considered great: a villain. The Atlanta series had Mike Bibby calling Celts' fans "fair weather," Joe Johnson's 30 foot mortar shells and Marvin Williams acting like Roy Williams with his horse collar on Rajon Rondo. But none of those will rile up a fan base more than a bazillionaire who's a lousy tipper. LeBron could sell crack to school kids to finance a dog fighting ring for Al Qaeda and we wouldn't hate him more than would knowing he's got deep pockets and short arms when it comes to tipping working stiffs.

(Thanks to Ken for the link.)

I have to admit I'm totally enamored of this chick. She's got the X-factor, which is a coin a buddy of mine once coined for a girl who's total is greater than the sum of her parts. Not to mention, she's willing to do anything on film, including the legendary make out scene from "Mulholland Drive" which I was going to post here, but it's too much even for our standards, so I'll put up the NSFW link instead. Enjoy.

To see much more of Naomi, click here...