Anthony Weiner Caught Sexting Pictures Of His Bulge While Laying In Bed Directly Next To His Sleeping Son, Deletes His Twitter

NY Post – This is baby-sitting — Anthony Weiner-style. While his wife, Huma Abedin, travels the country campaigning for Hillary Clinton, the disgraced ex-congressman has been sexting with a busty brunette out West — and even sent her a lurid crotch shot with his toddler son in the picture, The Post has learned. The stay-at-home cad shot the revealing photo while discussing massage parlors “near my old apartment” shortly after 3 a.m. on July 31, 2015, a screenshot of the exchange shows. Weiner was clearly aroused by his conversation with the 40-something divorcee when he abruptly changed the subject. “Someone just climbed into my bed,” Weiner wrote. “Really?” she responded. Weiner then hit “Send” on the cringe-inducing image, which shows a bulge in his white, Jockey-brand boxer briefs and his son cuddled up to his left, wrapped in a light-green blanket. “You do realize you can see you[r] Weiner in that pic??” the woman wrote. Moments after forwarding the photo, Weiner freaked out over the possibility he had accidentally posted it publicly — just as he did during the infamous episode that forced him to resign from Congress in 2011. “Ooooooh?.?.?.?I was scared. For half a second I thought I posted something. Stop looking at my crotch,” Weiner wrote back. “Whatever. You did it on purpose,” she replied. “O I see you thought you posted on your TL [public timeline] not DM [direct message]. S–t happens be careful,” she added.

Some men were put on this earth to do things. Certain things. Like Bryan Mills in Taken. I have a very specific set of skills…

Michael Jordan was put on this earth to hit buckets and win championships. Mike Tyson was put on this planet to knock people out. Michael Jackson was here to dance.

Tony Weiner AKA Carlos Danger AKA the Deceptively Strong Mongoose was put on this earth to fail at sexting. He was placed here by aliens or God or some higher power to send unflattering pictures of his dick and ultimately embarrass himself and his penis in front of many women and the entire public. Its just what he does. Like crabcakes and football with the state of Maryland. Its just how Weiner do. The minute you come out of the womb and your parents give you the name Anthony Weiner its a wrap. Its written in the stars. Its etched in stone. From that moment on, you are destined to embarrass yourself with your own dick one way or the other. When your name is Weiner and you look like a goddam ostrich:

Advertisement

Its time to just cuncel life and accept the fact that you are going to be mortified publicly again and again. And Anthony eluded that embarrassment for a while. He made a career for himself. But eventually, that weiner of yours is going to catch up with you. Its going to catch up with you like Death does in Final Destination. You cant avoid it.

I dont know whether this is Charlie Danger accepting that fate. I dont know whether you can be addicted to sending dick pics. But one thing is clear – Anthony Weiner just CANNOT stop sending girls his cock. It doesnt matter how ugly they are. It doesnt matter if his son is practically sleeping on top of said dick. You WILL get that penis in your inbox, ladies. Hes like the goddam United States Postal Service of dick pics. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this congressman’s dick from the swift completion of their appointed texts.

You know how jacked in the head you’ve got to be to have your kid crawl into bed with you, practically rest his head on your half chub like its a Posturepedic pillow, and you whip out your phone and think its a good time to sext your latest creature? Either I’m a prude and havent gotten to the sexting-with-pictures-of-my-kids yet or Anthony Weiner is still just completely lost when hes got a phone in one hand and his dick in the other.

But when he has those tools, he paints this masterpieces of embarrassment. Its like Christopher Walken says in Man on Fire. “A man can be an artist… in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Weiner’s art is Cringe. He’s about to paint his masterpiece.” Anthony Weiner’s son crawled into bed and snuggled up against his dick and Weiner painted his masterpiece of cringe.

PS – Nobody on earth could benefit from my Just Jerk Off mantra. Any time you’re about to do anything questionable – especially sex related and ESPECIALLY dick pic related – just jerk off. JJO. If you still want to send that text afterwards, go for it. But at least now you know you’re thinking with a clear mind.

PPS – If we’re being honest thats a pretty sweet dick. Good dick outline.