The Smithsonian Is Looking To Hire Someone Who Will Drink A Bunch Of Beer And Explain It's Importance On American Culture

Mashable- Set down the pint glass, and brush up that resume. The Smithsonian is seeking a beer expert to chronicle the beverage’s history and influence on American culture. The work will contribute to related exhibits within the National Museum of American History in Washington, DC, including the Food History Project. It’s no quick sip. The job requires a three-year commitment. Applicants who have an advanced degree in American business, brewing, food or a cultural specialization in history are “encouraged to apply,” according to the job posting. Bud Light-only drinkers need not apply. The job opportunity will specifically focus on the growing craft beer industry in America. The number of craft breweries in the United States has more than doubled over the last six years, according to the Brewers Association. “You always want to understand, ‘How did we get to 4,200 small breweries here in 2016 from just a few 30 years ago?’ There’s an economic aspect and a community aspect to this story,” Smithsonian curator Paula Johnson told ABC News. All applicants must have experience in scholarly research, conducting oral history interviews and writing for academic and general audiences, the job description reads.

Okay so the obvious angle here, “Sign me up bro! I love drinking bro! I can get paid to drink beer bro?! Sounds fucking epic bro!” and all of that is true. Getting paid to drink beer is better than any job that any of us have right now. Flip side though, let’s examine the one negative: monster beer shits. They’re not talking about drinking Bud Lights or Miller Lites all day (which will give you beer shits anyway). They’re talking about drinking HEAVY craft beers day in and day out for three years. Craft beers from all across this great land that’ll make you poop your fucking pants. I’m not a craft beer guy but my friends will bring around heavy local brews from time to time that I’ll choke down. You know what happens the next day? I shit literal bricks. Just shit bricks all over the place. So many shit bricks I could build a shit mansion. I could drink 15 Bud Lights (sup) and still not have shits like when I drink three of whatever craft beer. It’s awful.*

*Again, this is just the one down side of this job. Everything else would be pretty great.