Turns Out It's Not Okay To Be A Substitute Teacher And Get So Drunk During Class That You Can't Name The President

Orlando- A substitute teacher at Sanford’s Bentley Elementary School has been arrested, accused of being drunk in a classroom full of second graders. Holly Joel, 52, of Winter Park, is in the Seminole County Jail, accused of disorderly intoxication, child neglect and disturbing the peace. She’s to appear before a judge today, who’ll determine whether police had enough evidence to arrest her. According to Sanford police, Joel was supervising a roomful of children yesterday when a school secretary and another staffer became suspicious.

She stumbled and fell when the principal asked her to stand up, according to her arrest report.

She also didn’t know what day it was.

When asked to name the president, she answered, “Obama.”

When asked the first name of the president, she answered, “Obama,” according to the report.

To be honest I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often.  Being a substitute teacher is kind of like being Batman*. You never know when you’re gonna get the call but you have to be ready to roll at a moment’s notice. So what happens if the call comes in on the day you decided to start drinking at 9am? Well the right answer would be to let that call go to voicemail and stay at the bar. Or you do what this lady did and accept the job anyway and head to school three sheets to the wind. I guess understand the logic. Substitute teachers don’t do shit anyway. I can’t remember having a single productive day at school when there was a sub.  Forget the curriculum, throw on a movie and get paid to keep drinking. There is a line you can’t cross though. That line is being unable to answer the question of, “What is the first name of the most powerful person in the world who also happens to be the current president of your country?” Impressed she got his last name though. I believe in giving props where props are due.

*This could be a decent parody. Party animal Batman constantly seeing the bat signal on Friday and Saturday nights and trying to fight crime after 13 Bud Lights. It’s probably (definitely) a better idea in my head but it made me chuckle.