And Here. We. Go! The Barstool Chicago Film Festival Is Underway So Lets Break Down The Teams

ROSTER: This team has friction written all over it. If Hank mentions that how he's trying to marry a Gomez, Brandon and Big T will report him for attempting a green card marriage. They have enough Nics to clothe a citizen of ancient Greece. Speaking of grease, Mintzy and Pat will 100% get into a major misunderstanding about hogs for the cause. Can Fastoolie hold them together? With the power of Viva, maybe. 

DRAFT: Their draft actually ended up with a pretty lucky mashup of attributes. Just about every musical biopic that has ever existed involves flashbacks and dance choreo. The Riggs quote will be tough, though. Maybe a little Jesus Christ, Superstar action? 

ROSTER: This group unfortunately has a lot of people that run in the same lanes. KB & Max (addicted to Coke™), Caroline and PMT Memes (bad at standup), Rudy & Joey (Gay), Grier & Blutman (guys that look like they're about to yap your ear off about Hunter Biden). I imagine that leads to a lot of friction, but maybe it ends up being common ground for them to stand on. Like Pavs, Owen knows his way around making some good skits so I trust him. 

DRAFT: Another draft that ended up with some great synergy! Get a cameo from the situation slamming his head into a wall and you could put together a seriously great action movie. Also, getting a frank quote is a gift from god. 

ROSTER: This is one of the more interesting lineups we have if you ask me. Cheah and Jake Marsh look so similar that either one could have been in the background one of Donnie's videos. Titus is the best shooter, Jerry is the best at shooting up, and Chaps is the one that has been the most shot at the company and yet none of them are behind the camera. Tommy Smokes vs Zah, who will hit on more blondes taller than they are at Barstool River North tonight? Mook is a walking dead man after today's events! So the real question will be how Mikey Pavs manages to throw this ragtag group together. Out of Order is one of the funniest shows at the company, so I have faith. 

DRAFT: Now THIS is an interesting group of attributes to loop together. They have no women & arguably every detrimentally horny man at the company except Nicky Smokes on the roster. So what is the play here? Play it straight? Gay? Beastiality a la the Shape of Water with the cameo? They might have the toughest job here….

ROSTER: Entrusting this many female employees of the company around Ohio's Tate feels like teaming up Mike Evans with Marshon Lattimore but, if they can get past any friction, this could be a solid roster. I think Frank the Tank will definitely be the the glue of this team. Here is a quick diagram. 

DRAFT: To add on to a great roster, they have a great draft of attributes and one of the most creative minds in the company, Rone, to piece it all together with Tom directing. Maybe have someone playing Fasoli having to break up with the Viva world? Actually, no. I don't even want to joke about that. 

Reminder, here is the schedule for the festival.