Terrifying 8-Foot Boa Constrictor Found In Engine Of Ford Focus During Routine Maintenance

John Rich9/27/2023 2:10 PM

WFLA- Employees at a car dealership in Myrtle Beach were in for a surprise when they popped the hood of a Ford Focus and found an 8-foot boa constrictor. Lynnette Crow, the service manager at Beach Ford Lincoln Automotive Group, said the Ford Focus was left overnight at the dealership by technician Tony Gallio.
Russell Cavender, the owner of The Snake Chaser, who was called to get the snake said through a Facebook post that he had never found a snake of that size underneath the hood of a car. “I have found many, many things underneath the hood of cars,” Cavender said. “Possums, squirrels, rats, and several snakes, but never an 8-foot albino boa constrictor. I’d say a pretty interesting morning.

On a scale of 1 to prison, how harshly should a snake owner be punished for losing their snake into the wild? I'm certain that's where this snake came from. 8-foot long boa constrictors aren't native to Myrtle Beach. If a man pulls an 8-foot snake from the hood of his Ford Focus like a table magician at Max & Erma's pulling a never ending chain of scarves out of his sleeve, you know it escaped from some slimy snake guy's bedroom. Snake guys are a menace to society and they must be stopped.

RDT - Barstool Blogger, noted snake guy

There are a million reasons snakes should not be kept as pets. For one, snatching an exotic snake out of the rainforest, transporting it to a 2-bedroom home in Myrtle Beach, and locking it in a small glass box is a seriously uncool thing to do to a snake. Snakes deserve to roam free in parts of the world where they can slither in the tall grass, eat animals that look way too big for them to eat, and pressure young couples into having sex.

I'm curious how much work Russell Cavender "The Snake Chaser" gets on a regular basis. Do dangerous exotic snakes longer than Yao Ming get stuck in vehicles often? I certainly wouldn't think so, however when I ran a Twitter search for 'snake engine', I found that this wasn't even the only exotic snake discovered in the hood of a car in the last week.

Finding a snake in a warm climate like Myrtle Beach is one thing, but an exotic snake in Green Bay? That's arguably the least exotic place in the world. You'd be harder pressed to find a 7-foot python than a non-football playing minority (it's mostly white people there).

Consider one of those shady auto body shop's that nickel and dime their customers for every little thing they do. What if they pulled a snake from your car? You show up a few days later to pick up your vehicle, and they hit you with a bill that looks something like this.

Bullshit Auto Repair
New Battery - $210
Brake Pads - $219
Windshield Wipers - $38
Oil Change - $69
Consultation Fee -$48
Calling In "The Snake Chaser" for 8-Foot Snake Removal - $1466
Air in Tires - $9
Total - $2,059

Snake chasing is expensive business.

So in conclusion, snake guys = jail. In case you need any further proof of that, before I even finished this blog, I received an ominous text from Snake Guy RDT himself. He saw I was writing a snake blog and thought he would take the opportunity to "not threaten" my life.