Oh I'm Sorry, I Thought This Was America: Man Gets Pulled Over For Driving With A Giant Bull Riding Shotgun In His Car
NORFOLK, Neb. -- Around 10:00 a.m. Norfolk Police Division responded to a call of a man driving eastbound on 275 with a Watusi bull in his passenger’s seat.
...The occupant of the vehicle was identified as Lee Meyer of Neligh. The Watusi bull’s name was Howdy Doody. Lee was immediately pulled over by Norfolk Police as they performed a routine traffic stop. “The officer wrote him some warnings,” Reiman said. “There were some citable issues with that situation. The officer chose to write him a warning and ask him to take the animal back home and leave the city.”
You think that George Washington beat the everliving piss out of the Red Coats just so 250 years later someone could get pulled over for driving around town with a big ass bull in the passenger seat? Not a goddamn chance.
The date was September 3, 1783. Damn near 240 years ago to the exact day. And on that day when the Revolutionary War was ended, a little something called Freedom was invented. The moment freedom was invented, it gave the inalienable right for a guy like Lee Meyer to drive around town with Howdy Doody sitting shotgun. If you think there should be a "law" that prohibits that? Then pack your shit and move to Canada.
Speaking of shit...
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There aren't enough air fresheners in the world that can cover that up. You could buy up every tree of Black Ice on the market and you'd still be smelling literal bull shit for the next 12 days.
Now that I think about it, that might actually be how these two menaces were able to get out of there with just a warning from the cop. My guess is that Officer Dick'n'balls was about to write up a ticket but then Howdy Doody over here let out a hellacious dump. Guy was about to puke and told him to just get the hell out of town. What a genius plan that would turn out to be. This Lee Meyer fella could go around breaking every single traffic law in the book, and he'd get out of every ticket thanks to Howdy Doody's impeccable timing on his bowel movements. What a gambit these two could be running out there.
At the end of the day, this is America. The moment they take away our right to drive around town with a Watusi bull in the front seat is the moment that we've lost our country entirely. Not today.