Barstool Golf Time | Book Tee Times & Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Advertisement

A Dead and Buried Cat Magically Appeared Back At His Owner's House And I'm Calling Bullshit

Daily Mail - Danielle, 30, and Sam Smith, 31, from Birmingham, were devastated when a neighbour found a dead, black and white cat, which was thought to be their 11-month-old pet Lucky on Saturday 14th May.

Sam rushed to identify the body which had almost identical markings to Lucky, before bringing the dead animal home to Danielle, 30, who broke down and fell to the floor 'like something from a film'.

The retail worker cradled and talked to the moggy, who appeared to have been hit by a car, while landscape gardener Sam dug a grave and the couple held a small ceremony where they laid a headstone marked 'RIP Lucky'.

The next day while still in tears at work, mum-of-three Danielle received an image of her actual feline who had strolled through the front door and started tucking into his breakfast.

To both her relief but also horror, she realised that the pair had buried someone else's cat.

Danielle said: 'The whole situation is hilarious and it's mortifying because of how distraught we all were. I still can't get my head around it. It was a traumatic weekend.

'I was panicking because she went quiet so I thought something had happened. 

'I was just about to get in the shower and she called and said, "I'm not sure if it is your cat from the picture that you've sent", but it wasn't a very good picture because he was on his side.

'I asked if the cat was ok and she said it had gone, so I asked if I could send my partner round because it was only down the road.

'I was in the shower and he came in the bathroom, looked me in the eye and said, "It's Lucky". I broke down and fell down.

'I was in the shower so I got out, and Sam was saying I didn't need to see him but I needed to see him for my own closure. It was so dramatic. I couldn't control it.

'They're part of the family. The cat was in an old-fashioned potato sack. My partner was trying to stop me from looking.

'I was bawling, snotting and dribbling, pushing him away sayingm "I need to see him" like I was in a film.

'We opened the sack so you could see the neck down, the body of the cat and the markings were exactly the same. I was stroking him. I went to look at his face which wasn't very nice but I wanted to make sure.

My partner was digging a grave in the background. It was raining as well so the whole situation was so dramatic.

'I sat with the cat for about 20 minutes. I cried on the phone to my mum and made a Facebook post. I was bitching about people who speed when there are cats walking around.'

When she received a photo of Lucky at 10.30am, she burst into tears of happiness but it dawned on her that she'd buried somebody else's cat.

Danielle said: 'I went to bed but didn't sleep. I didn't wear make-up to work because my eyes were so puffy.

At first glance at this headline, I thought we had a full-blown Pet Semetary situation on our hands. Which honestly wouldn't surprise me in the least in the year 2022 given the shit that goes on in this simulation today. 

Advertisement

But upon reading the clickbait article, it's easy to realize yes this story is straight out of a movie storyline, but it's not Stephen King's work. Not even close.

Has nobody fucking seen one of the greatest comedies of our generation, one of Robert DeNiro's finest performances of his career? 

Meet The Parents?

Danielle, if you're reading this, stop what you're doing and watch the movie. 

This is a real-life Jinxy Cat situation if I've ever seen one.

Allow me to play out what I think happened here.

Your boyfriend Sam (Greg/Gaylord Focker) was probably out smoking a grit on the stoop while you were in the shower (he told you he kicked the habit 6 months ago but let's be serious) and he didn't close the screen door all the way. Your lovely little fur ball Lucky (Jinxy) slipped out and Sam didn't realize until he was across the street climbing up in a tree trying to get a bird. 

Advertisement

You came out of the shower and were calling for him and he panicked. He figured Lucky would come back when he was hungry but nope. He was probably a nervous fucking wreck praying and waiting for the cat to come back while you were a basketcase over losing your best friend. 

When your neighbor sent that dreaded text about finding the dead cat, Sam jumped at the first opportunity he thought he had to get out of this mess. 

Sam sprang into action, went and rounded up the poor dead cat in a burlap sack (who has burlap sacks laying around besides potato farmers and serial killers by the way?)

Now here's where the trail splits into two paths:

- Sam either grabbed some spray paint at the hardware store and spray painted the cats tail (classic Focker move) so that he'd look like Lucky. OR

- the cat actually did somewhat resemble Lucky and Sam thought that passing the dead cat off as Lucky would bring closure to this whole thing and get him out of having to admit to you that he lost your cat.

Advertisement

Straight out of the movie

OR, this new Lucky is actually an imposter cat that Sam found and had show up in an even more diabolical and fucked up scheme to heal his girlfriend's broken heart.

When this fake Lucky goes berserk on your wardrobe after eating some of Sam's nicorette, don't come crying to me because I told you so.

p.s. - for those wondering about the poor cat who did die and its owner

When Sam dug the grave, he put a stone on it saying 'RIP Lucky'. It was a full-on grave. It's such a funny situation.

'Everyone has said it's just typical of me and Sam. If it had to happen to anyone, it's us.'

Danielle managed to track down the owner of the cat she'd buried who asked her to leave her pet where he'd been buried in the garden to rest.

yah Danielle, lol. So typical. Lol.