Soccer Player Hulk Is Facing A 12 Match Ban For 'Physical Violence' During A Game ... The Physical Violence Of Kicking A Guy In The Nuts

[Translation] - Atletico received with perplexity the news that the athlete Hulk will be judged by the STJD, due to the bid occurred in the match against Coritiba, for the 3rd round of the Brazilian Championship.

And here's the play in question: 

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OOF. That's a square kick to the dick. There's no way to defend that one, that's a wind up and tickling the balls with your cleats. Now it may not be the biggest kick to the dick that Hulk has done recently - figuratively here. 

Oh and she just gave birth to their kid. Hell of a guy all around here. But now he's facing a 12 match ban for that kick which was somehow just a yellow card. (h/t The Sun)

Mundo Deportivo claims Hulk will be on “trial” next week for “physical violence.”

And he could be slapped with a mammoth ban ranging from four to 12 matches.

But a more lenient sentence could see Hulk instead banned for three games, the equivalent of receiving a straight red card.

I love how dramatic that all sounds. On trial, physical violence and the fact he's facing something called the Superior Court of Sports Justice. That's how you know it's serious. He's not sitting down waiting for a call from the Commissioner or going to the office. Oh no it's the Superior Court of Sports Justice. It's physical violence, which actually, yeah that checks out. But trial? He's just going to a suspension hearing guys. 

Throw in the fact the guy goes by a singular name of Hulk and it's a perfect story. Wonder what his ex-wife thinks about it all? Somewhere I think she's smiling. 

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Gonna need athletes to stop kicking guys in the dick. It's a bad look.