Today In Colombia: A Cow Went Absolutely Berserk And Started Attacking People In The Waiting Area Of An Emergency Room

Whenever I am sitting in the waiting room of an ER, I am always less worried about whatever issue has placed my in the ER than what could possibly come through those sliding glass doors. A gun shot victim, a car accident victim, pretty much any sort of victim of an event that has caused blood to spurt out of every orifice of their body. It's usually ends up being just a bunch of other idiots with relatively minor ailments that WebMD convinced them may be deadly or old people trying to fight off the Grim Reaper's cold touch for yet another day. 

However nothing on God's green Earth could prepare me to seeing a member of Bovine University rumbling, stumbling, bumbling in and trying to cut the entire line simply because he outweighs everyone in the room. America has been a magnet for criticism for years, but at least we don't have cows running amok in our Emergency Rooms. At least not the ones I find myself in here in Winterfell. Our animals here in the states respect their spot in the food chain and know to peacefully die out in the wilderness instead of trying to get our elite level of medical care powered by our evolved brains. If they don't, they will be chopped into steaks, McNuggets, or whatever form we deem their meat to be most delicious. Unless they are pets. Nobody I know would ever eat a dog, except for Chaps who said on the record he would eat a dog and may already have done so multiple times. Sad but not surprising out of this son of a bitch.

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No word on if this sick bastard was cooking dog while making this gif

Also for what it's worth, the only two things I've seen that could be deemed anywhere near crazy while while waiting in the ER were a convict waiting to see a doctor in handcuffs with two cops standing next to him and a bathroom full of blood with a flickering light that looked straight out of a scene from Stranger Things which really fucked me up because I was in the middle of binge watching a new season of Stranger Things at the time. I imagine the Comment Section has some decent ER stories.

P.S. Shout out to the people that grabbed that cows leash or whatever it was in that video. I would've been halfway to whatever country is next to Colombia if I saw that happen live.

This also feels like the perfect time to promote Donnie's new Barstool Abroad series since he's in Colombia. Simply seeing that sentence in writing scares me more than whatever sort of chaos could await in an ER.