Tom Brady Has Finally Broken Max Kellerman
That was quite a dramatic moment. It was touch and go there for a while. It really came down to the final seconds. Max Kellerman was clearly trying to run out the clock until a commercial break. I think he might've actually been contemplating passing out or faking his own death to avoid having to say it. In fact, this plays like a hostage video where terrorists make a guy confess his crimes for the camera, and he holds out as long as he can until he's left with no choice. I wish I knew Morse Code because I'm pretty sure he was blinking "T-O-R-T-U-R-E" like Jeremiah Denton in the Hanoi Hilton.
But finally, after an exhaustive and grueling interrogation, they got him to say the words. It only took, what? 39 months, give or take?
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But who's counting? All Tom Brady has done since Kellerman declared he was going off a cliff was go to three Super Bowls, win two, throw for 500 yards in the other, win a league MVP and use his wizard powers turn the city of Tampa Bay into a winner like every other place upon whose soil his mighty feet step.
It takes a big man to admit hes wrong. And it takes an even bigger man to mock that man for being so very, very wrong for so long and remind that man how right he himself has been all that time. So that's what I'm doing now. I just wish Cliff Kellerman could've done it before. Maybe during the times Brady was still my quarterback and deserved to hear the words just as much. But nevertheless, welcome to the party.
P.S. As someone prides himself on avoiding pop culture references unless I'm talking to someone who I know will get it, I'm always amazed at how with throw out dated bits and just assume their target audience will pick up on it. I mean, it's one thing if you explain the premise, but they rarely bother. To the "First Take" key demographic of college kids and unemployed stoners, Henry Winkler is Bill Hader's acting coach on "Barry." Or Barry Zuckercorn. Maybe Bobby Boucher's football coach. But short of hearing "Fonzie is cool" in "Pulp Fiction," does anyone under the age of 40 understand the mention? If you were 10 years old when this went off the air, you're 46 now.
Update your material, ESPN.
P.P.S. Stephen A. Smith doesn't get paid enough to put up with Cliff, he really doesn't