Atlanta Falcons Announce They’ll Remain Closed Until 3-27. Sooo ...

The Atlanta Falcons: Living Proof that the world is blind to itself.

In high school, the guys that I hung out with – and still do because I have not evolved as a person - Used to classify the weirdos in our school into two designations. 

1) “He’s fucked up.” And 

2) “He’s fucked up, but he knows it.” 

That was a huge distinction. The first category of guys were genuinely a mess, and totally unself-aware about it.  There was no hope for them. And you did NOT want that designation. It meant you had social cooties of the worst order, and they were probably contagious. There was no coming back from that. The second category wasn’t so bad. It at least meant you were kind of self deprecating, had a sense of humor about yourself and it made you more eccentric then a total weirdo. You were more playing a character than a hopeless closet case.

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Without a doubt, the  Falcons fall into the first category. If they made the decision to stay closed until 3-27 and didn’t realize that everyone would immediately take the next logical step: 

... then they have to be the only people in America to not realize it. We’ve had three 3-28s since they turned it into a meme and I haven’t missed the opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate it.Yet somehow everybody in their organization managed to miss the obvious and walk right into the joke that is entirely on them.

It’s another one of those moments where the word Fremdschamen applies, perfectly. It means to feel embarrassed for someone who should feel embarrassed for themselves, but lacks the capacity. In other words, they’re fucked up but they don’t know it.

Of all the Atlanta Falcons in the world, they are the Atlanta Falconiest. Happy 3-28 Day, in advance.