Does This Look Like The Face Of A Barstool Employee That Won't Date Anyone Who Believes Man Has Walked On The Moon?
I mean…kind of? Yesterday on the featured new Barstool Radio lineup that features absolutely everyone unique, original, and creative in the office, Jared Carrabis had a take. It wasn’t a hot take. It wasn’t a cold take. But it was a fucking take:
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Usually I’m not bothered by such outlandish stupidity. Especially from someone who has this kind of stance on life:
But the ultra ignorance kind of rattled my cage. Why? I’m not so sure. But it did, somehow more than Jared somehow, someway claiming soon after that the moon was 3,000 miles away from Earth (Actual distance: 238,900 miles). Then I thought about it because I can, you know, actually think, and you know what? Good. We can spin this into an absolute positive, win-win situation. Jared can either die ceasing to procreate OR we’ll create a District 9 border around the slums of Saugus where the Sausage Rocket can breed with his animals without affecting the rest of humanity. I don’t necessarily hate it. In fact, I love it. A contained Idiocricy, if you will:
All for one and Calhoon’s for all! I mean, come on. You’re not as bad as the anti-vaxing or Westboro Baptist crowd, but all you Moon Truthers out there, just read a book. One time. And if literacy is not your thing, just watch this YouTube video with pictures, sounds, and bright lights. Maybe something will click.