What Is The Worst That Could Happen If The Phillies Brought In Tim Tebow?
CSN Philly – The Phillies will send a scout to watch Tim Tebow’s baseball showcase next Tuesday in Los Angeles.
Now, before you start clearing a space in your closet for a red-pinstriped Tebow jersey — you know, right next to the midnight green Tebow jersey — keep this in mind: the Phillies, and every other team that stops by Tebow’s workout, are merely practicing due diligence by taking a look at an accomplished athlete who long ago showed some baseball aptitude. Tebow’s chances of ever playing in a major-league game are extremely thin.
Contrary to what I’m sure most of you think, I’m not a complete idiot. I realize that the current state of affiars of Philly sports is an abysmal one. I realize that we’re creeping up on a decade since there’s been anything to be happy about in this city (minus the Soul and the Spinners and every other fringe sport that Philly dominates). The Sixers have hit rock bottom. The Phillies have hit rock bottom. The Eagles have wasted the past 3 years of everybody’s life. The Flyers have been in this weird spot for the past 5 years where nobody knows whether they’re good or not. If you want to look at the face of depression, look no further than at a group of Philadelphia sports fans. Which is why we need to see Timothy Richard Tebow in Citizens Bank Park next season.
Are the Phillies going to win a World Series next year without Tim Tebow on the roster? Hell no. Are they going to be a playoff team next year without Tim Tebow on the roster? Don’t hold your breath. So for starters, there’s really no difference between a season with Tim Tebow and a season without. Besides the fact that at least you’ll sell tickets and give everybody something to distract them from how awful their life as a Philly sports fan is. Secondly, let’s take a look at Tim Tebow’s previous stint in Philly.
The Eagles signed Tim Tebow on 4/20 (nice) 2015. He played 4 preseason games with the Birds in which they went 4-0. They were the greatest preseason team in the history of the NFL. Everybody, including Schefter, had them heading to the Super Bowl. What happened after preseason game #4? The Eagles release Tebow. What happened after the Eagles released Tebow? They stomped on the balls (and lady balls) of Philly sports fans everywhere by turning in one of the least inspiring seasons of all time that saw them miss the playoffs, fire Chip Kelly, ditch DeMarco Murray, etc. etc. For those of you keeping score at home, the Eagles have literally never lost a game when Tim Tebow was on the roster. They were the biggest shit heads on planet Earth with him off the team. I know that I’m not alone in this sentiment and I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this; I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in Tim Tebow. So let’s just get fucking crazy with it. Anything is better than Ryan Howard at this point anyway.
- Tim Tebow born in 1987
- Minnesota Twins won 1987 World Series
- Billy Beane played a few games for that Twins team
- Brad Pitt played Billy Beane in Moneyball
- Moneyball was released in 2011
- 2011 season Tim Tebow won an NFL playoff game
- Tim Tebow will win the World Series