Watching Big Brazilian Booty's Play Soccer Puts The Dick In An Impressive Conundrum

Great googly moogly. Would you venture into the belly of these beasts? I don’t even know. I’d like to say yes but at first sight of these sauced hams it may retreat back inside like a frightened turtle. 10000x the shrinkage of a cold pool. Actually, screw it. It might be worth being sentenced to death by Snu-Snu with one of these literal dick wreckers.

There needs to be some sort of mail order bride business to get these hams out of the Amazon. Or at least access to their genes for the fathers who can’t let it go and need to have a child that’s uber athletic. Create an app called Breeder to pick out the best of the best. Create a clause that says if your kid isn’t D-I you get your money back and BOOM! Billions overnight. Suck on that teet, Zuckerberg.