Trial Of The Century Begins Today As Philly's "Swiss Cheese Pervert" Faces Justice

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — The trial for the alleged “Swiss Cheese Pervert” is scheduled to start in Philadelphia Thursday. Christopher Pagano, 42, is charged with Stalking, Indecent Exposure, Harassment and Open Lewdness for allegedly harassing four different women. The start of the trial has been delayed several times due to issues, including an attorney change. Pagano was originally arrested back in January after making headlines internationally for a series of alleged bizarre incidents involving Swiss cheese and his genitals. Three women allege Pagano had driven by them and asked them to watch him put Swiss cheese on his private parts in exchange for money. Since Pagano’s initial arrest, a fourth alleged victim came forward.

Roe v. Wade. The Scopes Trial. OJ’s verdict. All pale in comparison to the Philly Cheesedick’s day in court. The legal precedent that’s going to be set in this groundbreaking case will be studied by law students and professionals for generations. Can’t a man go around exposing his dick through swiss cheese asking women if they like what they see anymore? We’ll find out. One thing’s for certain, if this guy’s lawyer gets him off (figuratively) consider him Atticus fucking Finch on steroids. Nobody faces charges of offering up a cockmeat sandwich on the road with photographic evidence and walks away scot-free.

Still consider Pagano one of the classiest guys in NE Philly at any given time. #FreeCheeseDick.