This Irish Cafe Who Banned Loud Americans Can Gargle On My Red, White And Blue Balls

IRELAND – It is hardly the way to win over tourists, but this Irish cafe doesn’t seem to care. Peter’s Place, a pretty eatery in County Kerry, has placed a notice in its window banning ‘loud American’s from entering. The cafe lists the undesirables it would prefer not to receive in its establishment, including bus and coach tours and rowdy tourists from across the Pond.

Of course. Because the Irish are the most docile of creatures. You don’t want those rude Americans disturbing the gaggle of drunks wanting to bare knuckle box everyone in sight after downing a trough full of Guinness. There was a guy fresh off the boat from Dublin in college who would get smashed on a 12 hour basis. He would flat out piss himself in public and blame it on the Leprechaun in his pants. Dude was hilarious. But if that’s not only allowed, but encouraged to go down on our soil, it’s an American’s God given right to go wherever we please and loudly proclaim we’re from the greatest country on Earth. I’m ignorant enough to believe that’s what our Founding Father’s would’ve wanted.

Don’t Tread On Me, Ireland. Because it’s always a good time to rise up and kick a little ass.