The Philadelphia Flyers Had The Most Philadelphia Flyers Weekend Ever

 (Warning: Post contains these things called GIFs. Might make the load time a tad longer than expected.)

I know this is the case for plenty of teams around the league, and it’s certainly nothing new to the city of Philadelphia, but the 2014-15 Philadelphia Flyers season has been one giant roller coaster to say the least. The team looked like a lost cause early on, but came out of the All-Star Break like a bunch of wild men and started to climb the ranks. And luckily since it looked like Boston was going to shit their pants, up until Friday March 6, 2015, the Flyers still had a legitimate shot to somehow some way sneak their way into the playoffs. After this weekend though? Ehhh… probably not. And this is exactly how everyone knew it would work out. That this team would be good enough to not be the biggest dickheads in the world like Buffalo and Arizona who are in a dick measuring competition right now to see who can hockey the worst. But they’re also not going to be good enough to make the playoffs so now they’ll be stuck with a draft pick somewhere in that “he could be good but who really knows” category. Anyway, this weekend was filled with a ton of great metaphors for the whole season so at the very least, we can all share a few laughs together because laughter is the best medicine.

Flyers 2, Bruins 3 (OT)

Somehow the Flyers are up 2-1 with just over 2 minutes left to play. So what would make the most amount of sense in a situation like this? Yes, exactly. Wayne Simmonds gets called for a very ticky-tacky tripping penalty. It just wouldn’t make sense if the Flyers got to finish that game at even-strength because that would mean that a God exists or something. So Simmer goes to the box and the Flyers are facing a 6-4 powerplay. Del Zotto blocks about infinity shots during the powerplay and with just around 15 seconds left to play, it looks like the Flyers are going to gain 2 more points on the Bruins in the playoff hunt. And then…

Fuck.

But that’s okay. Because even though the refs just gifted the Bruins with a point, there is still a chance that the Flyers can pull this one out in overtime to continue chipping away for that 8th and final playoff spot. Right? Wrong. Dead fucking wrong.

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(GIF via @PeteBlackburn)

I’m going to have nightmares about that little weasel Marchand. That game on Saturday had a game 7 feel to it and the boys in Orange just couldn’t pull away with a W. That one hurt to swallow. But there’s no time to dwell on it because there was even more Flyers hockey to be played on Sunday. Grrrrrrreat.

Flyers 2, Devils 5 (Fuck Everything)

Worst. Game. Ever. I don’t ever want to think about this game after I’m finished writing this post because that was the most brutal thing I’ve ever witnessed. It was pretty obvious that there was just nothing left in the tank after that deflating loss to Boston the day before (pun sort of intended). This was the cherry on top of the metaphoric shit sundae which was this weekend in Philadelphia sports. If the Flyers beat the B’s on Saturday, they’re riding high into Sunday and easily take care of the lowly Devils. Instead, they come so close yet so far away, and now we’re at the point where we can officially cuncel da Flyers saeson. And here’s everything you need to see from yesterday’s loss in Jersey.

Yikes.

And here’s another little fun metaphor for the season so far. The Flyers finally have a legitimate goaltender on their hands. When Steve Mason isn’t injured, he is unreal. For plenty of times this season, he’s been the only thing keeping the Flyers in games. Take this save on Talbot for example on Saturday.

But just like the Phillies offense when Cole Hamels is on the mound, the Flyers just continually hang Mason out to dry. I think this 2-on-0 goal from yesterday shows everything you need to know about that.

Mase. You poor poor soul. I’m so sorry this had to happen to you.

But yeah, anyway, it would appear that this season is over. Honestly, it’s probably been over for a while but this is where we have to be big boys and look the dead body directly in the eyes. The Flyers had a huge opportunity to come out of this weekend with 4 points, and they missed it. Also, I want these Winter Classic jerseys to be thrown into a dumpster and lit on fire. I’d say ship them off to Africa but that’s just far too cruel.