The Dumpster Fire That Is The 2015 Philadelphia Philles Are A Major League Best 8-1 Since The ASB

CHOO CHOO! Out of the way! The Phillies are now less than 30 games under .500 and are making moves! No-hitters, actual runs, defense worthy of a varsity HS team. Well, I guess the dumpster fire has cooled down from a steel-melting blue hot to a bright red. Their only loss was Aaron Nola’s 1-0 loss in his debut. It’s still utterly depressing these guys could literally WIN OUT the second half of the season and still come close to missing the playoffs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan first and want to see them do well, but if this keeps going it’s going to get close to counter productive. Stay hot up through the trade deadline and try to clear some weight. Cole and Paps are obvious, but there are some other guys who can help the real big league teams. Jeff Franceour has a couple good innings left in him before AARP hits. Somebody should take a look.

Still not over these guys kicking me out of happy hour on Saturday because duty called. Seriously. Obviously I was happy for the 13th no-no in franchise history but they couldn’t have saved that shit for a slow Tuesday night? Even when they win the Phillies find a way to spite my life. #IHateThisTeam

PS – If Katie Nolan can get her mitts on the Phanatic’s Hot Dog Cannon then there should be someone who can smuggle me in for a first pitch. Legit lifetime dream. Straight gas off the mound, all the time, every time. Actually, may have to throw the deuce after I see that day’s opposing lineup.