Stop And Gaze At This Abortion Of A Lineup The Phillies Trotted Out Today

Legitimate question: How in the name of Zeus’ BUTTHOLE is this a major league lineup for the 6th game of the season?  I mean, I can understand if it’s a Spring Training B game or in September after a plane crash wipes out half the team, but this, this is something else.  Good work, Rubes.  The star power of Caesar Hernandez, Cameron Rupp and Sean O’Sullivan should really put asses in the seats on this beautiful Sunday.  Seriously.  Cody Asche wouldn’t even bat 3rd for the Taney Dragons and Jeff Franceour might legit keel over in RF from playing two nights in a row.

The only thing worse than the Phillies trotting out this AA lineup is if the World Series favorites Nationals get swept by them.  One can only hope.

Sidenote: Dan Uggla is still in the league?  Just when I thought I was out, Uggla pulls me back in.  I’m actually SHOCKED he hasn’t gone 40/40 this series vs the Phillies already.  That sauced up pig has 200 career home runs and 198 of them are against Philadelphia.

UPDATE: Give these kids credit, the Phils are fighting hard down 2-1 in the 6th.  Cody Asche is actually 3-3 and Ryan Howard has 3 AB’s and 3 K’s.  One Golden Sombrero coming up!

UPDATE 2:  2-2!  Ryan Howard with the Golden Sombrero!  Can’t wait for it to go Platinum!