So When Did Joel Embiid Get All Sorts Of Ripped?

Well I know that every drink I order from here on out will be a Shirley Temple. Yesterday Embiid was spotted knocking down some free throws at a shoot around which most importantly means that he’s not dead. And then last night he decided to say fuck it to PC America and put on a pregame gun show at the Barclays Center.

The book on Joel Embiid was that he likes to drink sugary drinks and eat a shit ton of junk food. Well guess what, bitches. It’s called cultivating mass. Why don’t you look into it sometime? It worked for Mac in Always Sunny and it’s clearly working for Joel Embiid right now. Eat a shit ton of chicken fingers and hot dogs for months and months, cultivate that mass and turn into a little pudgeball then BOOM, you cut all the weight and get shredded. That’s how you go from average, to absolute savage. Trust the process is right.