Quick Recap Of What Went Down At The 2014 Wing Bowl Taking You Into The Weekend
And so the sun sets on the 2014 Super Bowl Replacement Because The Eagles Are Never In The Big Game Wing Bowl. The 127 pound tatted up piece of tits Molly Schuyler disturbingly housed a record-breaking 363 chicken wings in front of our eyes, breaking Kobayashi’s record of 337. This was the same broad who devoured the 72 ounce steak under 3 minutes a couple weeks back. Good for her, even though she may have scarred multiple dicks for life than wings after this one. Our man Skin & Bones gave a valiant effort but ultimately fell short eating roughly 160+ wings this year en route to a 6th place finish (ate 219 last year for 4th). We should have a good video of what went down sometime next week. Bare with us as I woke up at 3, our Camera Guy may legitimately be dead and I’m pretty sure Mo passed out on the bus back to Brooklyn and may be the darkest person in Canada right now.
Matt Stairs is the fucking MAN and is apparently looking for a Philly TV job. Give it to him, yesterday:
at like 730am former Phillie Matt Stairs came out to the Stone Cold theme song and long-chugged two beers. that happened. #wingbowl
— maurice (@tallmaurice) January 31, 2014
Jumbotron titty count:
Total naked tit count on the Jumbotron at the #WingBowl so far: 13.5. It’s 7:41 am. — Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) January 31, 2014
Our boy Skin & Bones representing big time on the float during the opening ceremonies:
DISPOSABLE CAMERA GUY:
#wingbowl sighting: man in 2014 with a disposable camera. pic.twitter.com/gldwnyJSfn
— maurice (@tallmaurice) January 31, 2014
St. Joe’s representative was a fiery lost soul named, “Ginger Wings”. Tried to take a picture but, like the vampire, his reflection and image are invisible to photography.
Some people just don’t understand. At least we made it outside this week, Kevin.
Typical Philly. Over/under number of deaths at Wing Bowl today – 3.5 @SmittyBarstool @tallmaurice pic.twitter.com/SbM4YdjuVz
— KFC, Kevin Clancy (@KFCBarstool) January 31, 2014
Professional Longsnaper Jon Dorenbos was dressed like a 1920’s Grifter. Was running the Wing Bowl as Commissioner with an Iron Fist not seen since Stalin. Here is a picture of his wife because AMERICA:
Updated Titty Count:
Updated naked tit count: 33.5. Currently 7:57. Not 1 wing has been consumed. #wingbowl
— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) January 31, 2014
The Eagles Jason Kelce sporting the Glutionous Google Glasses on the way to eating maybe 40 wings. Mo was extra giddy when he knew who we were he ate it hard on stage before we interviewed the center, pray we got the spill on video.
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YA HEAVE, YA LEAVE! Siyanora, Tiger Wings:
And this is at 2:19 today and the man is still going strong with his crew after being away for 30+ hours, 20+ beers and 160+ wings. Would go to war with Skin & Bones any day of the week:
Go to war with him assuming he’s still alive, which again, is a huge assumption.
Have a great weekend. Video next week.
PS – I think all of us are.
@SmittyBarstool You should be ashamed of yourself.
— Rear Admiral (@RearAdBsBlog) January 31, 2014