Lord Of The Douche Shia LaBeouf 'Retiring From Public Life'

GUARDIAN – Hollywood actor Shia LaBeouf has posted on Twitter that he is “retiring from all public life” following “the recent attacks against my artistic integrity”. He added “My love goes out to those who have supported me”, and finally “#stopcreating”.

First off, absolutely LOVE the fact this is one of the supposed biggest movie stars in the world and he’s getting murdered in Twitter followers by an Internet mogul who was last seen riding a tricycle while slowly getting Type-2 diabetes for a living. But how do you retire from public life when you’re a public figure? The Lord Of The Douche is straight up out hipstering himself.

I said yesterday on KFC Radio if there was one person you would want to kick out of your party, it would be Shia LaBeouf. Dude would waltz in with a posse of hipsters who cling off his coattails solely for his name and would not only think his shit doesn’t stink but will tell everyone. His whole shtick is dick and there’s no way any real person would put up with it. You politely ask him to leave and guaranteed he starts a fuss, which means it’s free reign to pounce and punish that cocky face back to Mickey Mouse Club.

That’ll teach him to help ruin my childhood by being apart in the last God awful Indy movie.

h/t @LC_718