Let Us Revisit This: Get A Load Of This Feminist Who Says Valentine's Day Is Solely The Man's Responsibility

I was going to write a dissertation on this outright sexist and hypocritical Hallmark holiday, but this blog from 2013 pretty much does the trick. Happy whatever. Also, boom. Might have to frame this one.

HUFFPO – She blabbers on in the beginning with a fake story about her fake friend wanting to plan Valentine’s Day for her man. Read the entire thing here if you want, but I edited it up below to get the meaningful parts.

“Oh no, no, no, no,” I replied. “This holiday is about you. He’s supposed to plan something fun for you. You’re not planning Valentine’s Day.”

Before I had the chance for conscious thought to kick in, I had unleashed a sentiment wholly incongruent with the feminist I thought I was.

What exactly was I saying here? That Valentine’s Day — a day I associate with showing love and adoration — is a one-way street? That V-Day is a man’s job? What kind of hetero-normative Hallmark crap was I spewing?

Certainly, I have showered men with love on Valentine’s Day — both the chocolate and card kind and the sweet mushy emotional variety. I don’t actually think Valentine’s Day is a unilateral event.

But despite my truly egalitarian belief about the exchange of gifts and attention, I find that I can’t effectively or honestly challenge my advice to my friend.

I do believe the onus is on men for Valentine’s Day.

There, I said it. Let my feminist self cringe. I can’t help it.

There’s something about the nature of the holiday — perhaps thanks to those pesky chocolate ads and Kay Jeweler commercials — that has imprinted in my brain the notion that, at the very least, men have an obligation to make Valentine’s Day special.

Maybe I’m copping out here. Maybe my feminist foundation is cracking and crumbling in disbelief and disgust as I type this. I can see my favorite Women’s Studies professor rolling her eyes — hands on her hips, shaking her head. After four years under her esteemed tutelage, this is what results!?

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Hmph.

Should I change my attitude? Can I work through the shame I feel over this disconnect between my feminism and this admittedly biased feeling I have about Valentine’s Day?

So this Valentine’s Day, give yourself permission to do the holiday your way. You should get what you want.

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Wow. Just…Wow.

First off, this article is a disgusting piece of bullshit drivel from start to finish. The whole thing is just one big fucking contradiction. An entire synopsis of this blog can be delivered in 6 sentences:

My friend wants to plan her VDay because her boyfriend doesn’t want to…

No she can’t do that! It’s all the man’s job!

But I’m a feminist…everything needs to be equal.

Fuck it, I enjoy being pampered.

I’ve decided that everyone can do Valentine’s Day their way without judgement or remorse so I can conveniently keep the notion that I’m still a feminist even though it’s 100% the man’s responsibility. Victory for the vagina!

Hey toots, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Either you sit back and let the man do what is socially responsible on this day and let him hatefully spend money on you in exchange for guaranteed sexual favors, or you grow some hair on your labia and make things equal. That means both parties either do nothing for Valentine’s day or both accept the same responsibility for making the holiday everything you want it to be. This Grand Clit Wizard of the Vagina Monologues just ruined everything for all the feminists out there who try to snake their way to getting what they want for V-Day without contributing shit.

The last sentence is what really fires me the fuck up: So this Valentine’s Day, give yourself permission to do the holiday your way. You should get what you want.

Thanks for the advice, hun. “Give yourself permission”? Basically saying that it’s perfectly fine to give into temptation and let go of your feminist ways to be treated unequally for a day. You deserve it. Because that glass ceiling isn’t becoming a floor anytime soon in your mind. When the check comes…