It May Be The Most Depressing Time In History To Be A Philadelphia Sports Fan
Rock bottom.
Let’s break this down. The Eagles, who started 7-2 with the two losses by literally 2 yards, are done. Three weeks ago they were 9-3 thinking the NFC East was locked up and aiming for a bye. To be going into the last game of the season with just their dicks in there hands is unreal. A complete meltdown of Rich Kotite proportions (remember that 7-2 to 7-9 season? That was cute.), and everyone needs to be held responsible. Mark Sanchez played well yesterday, but didn’t step it up when it mattered vs. Dallas, GB, or Sea. The defense isn’t a championship squad. Cody Parkey decided to establish residence in Shanktown. BRADLEY FLETCHER. The O-Line is so overrated it hurts (seriously, are we not allowed to bash these guys cause they’re cool people?). Shady not being Shady, AT ALL. And Chip Kelly…our fearless leader…to be so ignorant to let DeSean Jackson go for nothing and to think his system of “Culture” could outperform talent…to not step in and do something about the worst cornerbacks in NFL history…to allow his team to rack up penalty after penalty and LEAD THE LEAGUE IN TURNOVERS. Unacceptable. I just pray he learns from his mistakes.
Oh, and the Phillies will be in last place for the next decade, the Sixers won’t be watchable until 2032 and even if the Flyers do make the playoffs it’ll be another cocktease session where they’re just good enough to make it but never good enough to win.
I want to be positive. I want to continue living like it matters. I really do, but I can’t. I’m not even trying to be funny, I’ve got nothing. Time to either take up an addiction to distract myself from reality or become a permanent pessimistic pussy like KFC. And I’m scared it could be both.
Go Nova? Fuck it. Fuck everything. Take a look around you, we’re at the threshold of hell. Let’s try and get through these Holidays together without taking the last gun in the bullet to th eface.
