Introducing The Chtuckin: Chicken Stuffed With Crab Stuffed With Octapus

GOTHAMIST – Rusty Eulberg, a database administrator from Lubbock, Texas, tells us he brought forth what he called the Cthurkey about two years ago. Reached by phone at work, Eulberg says, “Apparently my Cthurkey—I always called it a Cthurkey as opposed to a Cthuken (no duck)—blew up online. A buddy of mine just told me he found it on Tumblr.” According to Eulberg, he and wife Jennifer Robledo “wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken.”

Good Lord. John Madden would even send this vial beast back to Davy Jones Locker. Imagine showing up to Christmas dinner starving and expected the usual – A turkey or pasta dish or seven fishes – and your eyes gaze upon this thing. Arguably top 3 meals of the year and these hipster asshats think it’s cute to bring out the real life Kraken to eat. I’d convert to Judaism so fast it would make my Yamaka spin because there’s no way in hell I would participate in the most disgusting meal since Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom. Wouldn’t be surprised if one of those legs get cut open and little snakes come squirming out of it.

The animated version looks like something directly out of DOOM and/or precisely how I would describe the ex’s soul.