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If It's The Wednesday Before Thanksgiving, It's Top Porn Comments Of The Week

Phub-COTW

A very Happy Thanksgiving Eve to you and yours. Sure, you still may not end up hooking up with that girl from high school that you always wanted to bang tonight, but life could be worse. Because when you see all those people from your hometown tonight at the bar and they ask you how you are and what you’ve been up to, at least you can tell them that you’re not commenting on internet porn and then get back to forgetting that person even exists. So let’s put a little extra gravy on the turkey right now and get to it.

bernie-sanders
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Looks like the Boston office will be voting for Bernie Sanders next November. Also, I just love everything about Bieber Hole’s comment underneath. Short, sweet, not-so-subtle.

dennis-the-menace
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Yo. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING will kill your boner faster than seeing this dude’s face. I still have nightmares about Switchblade Sam to this day. (Also, still refuse to believe this is Christopher Lloyd)

dennis-menace-badguy

end-racism
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This is just perfect. On one hand we have the creampie which Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was dreaming about when he gave his speech in Washington in 1963. And on the other hand we have jbriads02 who is pumped up about some random queef. A+ juxtaposition here.

explosion
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Not exactly from this week and I’m pretty sure this comment was actually featured before but still, that is aggressive as fuck and just doesn’t seem enjoyable in the slightest.

uncircumcised
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bloodstained-men-and-their-friends

family-guy
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I don’t know when it became “cool” to start hating on Family Guy but I don’t like it one bit. Family Guy is a great show and anyone who can’t appreciate it is just an asshole.

funny-business
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Okay listen here. There is to be no laughing whilst jerking off. As soon as you get to the end of your session, you immediately click the X at the top right corner of your screen, close your laptop and immediately become taken over by a sense of shame and regret. No laughing. Just shame.

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van-halen
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“Here’s my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen, not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep.”

hardooooooo
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Hardooooooooo. Also, Gaz?? Is that you?

hot-dog-water
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Fucking white people, man. Smh.

kanye
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I believe this is where black twitter would insert a million skull emojis.

toyota
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Quite possibly the greatest advertisement for Toyota of all time. Wanna get a random blowie of epic proportions? Well then go buy yourself a RAV4 or a Camry or some shit. Facts only.

And now since I’m in a giving mood, I figured I’d throw in a few more of my all time favorite Pornhub Comments here as a little bonus feature. I’ve been doing this for a while now, even before I got started with Barstool, so I have quite a collection of Pornhub comments saved up.

fullfront

Yup. That pretty much sums up the Pornhub comment section for ya.

gooeycum

Slightly aggressive, no? Not the rape part, but I mean using the adjective “gooey” to describe teh cum at the end. Just didn’t really need that image.

gross

Cheesy Gordita Crunch or GFTO

hellababies

I don’t think tajtoosweet45 understands how getting pregnant works.

jizzymovies

“Restaurant quality sucking” might be the best way to describe a blowjob I’ve ever heard. Nobody knows what it means, but it’s provocative.

nutsoutofshit

Aaaaaand I just puked.

retire

Like MJ with the Wizards.

And that wraps up this week in freaks. Hope everyone enjoyed themselves and if you come across any great comments throughout your travels to Pornhub this week, feel free to send them on over to @BarstoolJordie on the Twitter machine. Have yourselves a go tonight and hope you guys have a great long weekend. You’ve earned it.