I Found My High School Highlight Video And I May Need To Play Corner For The Eagles

 
The parents recently moved and subsequently were ready to toss “All of Adam’s useless crap”, so I naturally had to save everything. Can’t have those love rejection letters from middle-school or participation little league trophies be wiped from existence. But I came across the ol’ highlight tape that was made for college recruiters who were too cool to check out mediocre talent in person. People were asking for it, so enjoy the days where real men roamed the field on grass and were taped on VHS. Behold the greatest TE/OLB the eyes in Chester County have ever seen, besides those hundreds of other guys who played the same positions “better” with “talent”. Screw those overachievers.

Where are the D-III football highlights, you ask? Um…when your team wins only 10 games in 4 years (4 victories in the two seasons you actually played), there ain’t no highlights. I regret nothing*. Solid flow, though.
 

 
*I meant almost everything. Really, really, really wish I went to a big time school and partied my dick to the bone. Only way to live college life.

PS – Foo Fighters were, and are still the shit.