Here's Exactly Why You Don't Stand In The Batting Cage With Your Kid

Sorry, pops. You have nobody to blame but yourself. Tell your kid to choke up and be a man in the box then you’d have all the working parts in order. The kid’s out for stomping on the plate. But, nope. Instead that was the worst non-player baseball nut catastrophe since that umpire who got hit in the jimmies so hard and had to get carried out on a stretcher.

What we essentially just witnessed:

That’s a damn small target to bullseye, too. Even if he were wearing a titanium cup those eggrolls still would’ve exploded upon impact. And you know he’s not embellishing the pain or the need for a stretcher. Why? No thumbs up to the crowd on the way out. That’s one of the most boss things someone can do to a packed house. Unless you’re Hitler being carted off at Stalingrad or Michael Irvin at the Vet, it’s the one moment of praise and support anyone is guaranteed in life. Gotta muster the thumbs up even if you are paralyzed with pain. Carpe diem, Blue.

If he wasn’t wearing a cup then this is one of the most brutal nutshots ever captured on film. Even so, it’s still the primal essence of comedy: