Getting Confetti Cannoned While On The Toilet Has To Be One Of The Scariest Things That Can Happen To A Man

When you’re shitting, you’re in the zone more than an Asian kid taking the SAT’s. One distraction from the task at hand and you might not be able to recover. Usually the loudest noise you have to deal with is some guy in the next stall pretending the toilet is his on personal Hiroshima, and that’s even disturbing. Imagine being absolutely lost in the wonders of Tinder until the legs go numb and then BOOM! A clown ejaculates at the rate in which it causes a sonic boom two feet away. No thanks.

Well played by the shitter to not even flinch. Not exactly the greatest reaction when someone is charging in with essentially a blunderbuss from the 1600’s, but impressive nonetheless.