For Just One Easy Payment Of $1000, You Can Buy This Vibrating Robot Butt Brought To You By Pornhub
Source – If there’s one website that knows how to combine technology and savvy public relations stunts, it’s Pornhub. The company behind the WankBand is gearing up to launch another piece of hardware in the form of TwerkingButt, an adult toy that promises to set a “new benchmark in sexual stimulation.” Which is a ten-dollar way of saying that it’s a robotic butt that vibrates when it’s plugged in. Thanks to CyberSkin technology, the unit will even warm itself to a temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit to match that of a human body.
Once you’ve sat down and the doors are locked, you can pull out your smartphone and use it as a remote control for the device. There’s plenty of things for you to tweak, too, including the massage speed, vibration and even the twerking rhythm if you opt for the more expensive edition of the device. In addition, the deluxe version comes with a VR headset, although the company isn’t talking specifics about what content will work with your new toy, or how. What we do know is that it took Pornhub and Topco, its manufacturing partner, four years from start to finish to refine the technology for human use. If that’s enough motivation for you to try one, then you can pre-order the regular model for $699 or, if you want the additional features, the deluxe box with “twerking technology” for $999.
Chicks have had vibrators since the time humans were dying of the plague in the 1300s. Don’t quote me on that but I feel like I’ve definitely seen pictures. Sure, guys have had Fleshlights for a few years now and the couch cushions have always been there, but never anything to do the work for us. That is, of course, until right now. Myself? I’m more of your standard little bit of lotion and a few pieces of tissue paper kind of guy. I don’t need any fancy bells and whistles. I lead a simple life and I like my crank seshes to emulate that. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely intrigued by TwerkingButt. This is just some next level shit we’re working with here. Pornhub is out there leading the way once again. They’re heading up to space to film the first ever extraterrestrial pornog. And now they’re out there making twerking robot asses for extremely lonely people to fuck and selling them for $1,000 a pop. Yet somehow they aren’t paying me for all the traffic they’re getting from Porn Comments of the Week. But that’s another story for another time. Either way, this is a big day for the world. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but this is the sex toy of the future. This is what your grandchildren will be using on an every day basis. They’ll look at you and ask how in the fuck you survived without one of these puppies for so long the same way you ask your grandparents how they lived without cell phones. That’s what TwerkingButt is. It’s the cell phone of the sexy toy world.