Everyone Needs To Be All In On The Jamaican National Hockey Team

Color of Hockey – “The talent level is off the charts,” Graeme Townshend, head coach of the under-construction Jamaican national ice hockey program proclaimed Sunday. “We have a lot of talented kids at our disposal. There are some good players up here, obviously, but I didn’t expect them to be as good as they are.” The Jamaica Olympic Ice Hockey Federation took its first on-ice strides toward building an Olympics-worthy national team with a two-day tryout at a suburban Toronto rink over the weekend under the watchful eyes of Townshend, a former Boston Bruins and Ottawa Senators forward who was the National Hockey League’s first Jamaican-born player, and Cyril Bollers, president and coach of Skillz Hockey.

Well I’ll be damned. Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up, it’s hockey time. Somewhere in the world right now there’s already some producers from Disney holding auditions for Cool Runnings 2, and I’m not mad about it one bit. There are just a few quick minor details to go through; most of the guys on this team aren’t from Jamaica and probably have never even been to Jamaica yet. The team is probably gonna suck too much to be ready for 2018 and we’ll be lucky if they’re good to go for 2022. And sure, as of right now their coach isn’t some fat white dude (RIP John Candy) who disgraced his nation on the world’s biggest stage in a previous Olympics. So Cool Runnings 2 won’t necessarily be the same thing as the original. Big whoop. Because you’re out of your mind if you think for one minute that you wouldn’t pay money to see this flick. Remember the Trinidad and Tobago team from The Mighty Ducks D2? Do you remember how much fun you had when they were out on the ice having themselves a blast? It was the most fun. Now imagine that as the entire movie and tell me you’re not chubbed up. Plus, the uniform possibilities are endless. I’m all in on the Jamaican National Hockey Team, and you should be to.