Does This Look Like A Face Of An Upper Darby Man Who Walked Into The Police Station, Fired Up A Joint, Took A Dump On The Floor Then Smeared It On The Walls?

UPPER DARBY, Pa. (WPVI) — An Upper Darby man is facing charges after allegedly walking into a police station and lighting up a joint, then undressing, defecating on the floor, then smearing his waste on the walls. It was around 11:30 a.m. Sunday when police say 33-year-old Carlen Higgs walked into the Upper Darby police station talking gibberish. He then allegedly sat down in the station lobby and lit up a marijuana cigarette. He then took off all of his clothes, defecated on the floor and then wiped his waste on the walls. Higgs was taken to a mental health facility where it was determined that he was high on drugs.

Hands up, don’t poop!

Honestly, I’d like to know how he had the time to lite up, drop his pants, crap, then become the Picasso of feces in a police station. Is Carlen Higgs have the powers of Quicksilver from X-Men and is able to slow down time to become the Mad Dumper of Delco? Because this doesn’t happen in real life. Hell, it doesn’t even happen in fake life. I can’t whip out one set of bloody knuckles in GTA at a police station wihtout getting bumrushed by a gaggle of cops. So touche, Mr. Higgs. Touche indeed.