CONSPIRACY: Did You Hear The One About Doug Pederson Slaying His Secretary In KC Which Led Andy Reid To Play The Eagles Like A Fiddle?

So here’s how it goes. A couple wks ago around combine time I was talking to a friend who has NFL ties. Just your general shooting the shit over a couple beers about the Birds and other things. He said there was “talk” going around about Doug Pederson fucking his secretary in KC. I dismissed it as whatever. Even if it was happening, which I didn’t think was possible because how “Aw Shucks” the man seems (Seriously, look at that substitute math teacher), it’s really nobody’s business. It has no relevance to the game or the Eagles.

Time passes and last week I got a tip from a gentleman with detailed information related to the Pederson “rumor”, if you could even call it that. Here’s what he had to say (with a few items blacked out because they requested anonymity – Click to enlarge):

OK…well this got real interesting real quick. Am I convinced something happened? Maybe. Maybe not. This random guy with NFL connections could be blowing smoke up everyone’s asses. I like to put on the tin-foil hat and believe a conspiracy theory as much as the next nut, but come on now. However, it was worth to sniff around a bit. So I got my Spotlight on (took 2 sec and texted a guy I trust also in the NFL circle). This guy would have knowledge of the situation, if a situation in fact does exist, and here’s what he had to say. Keep in mind this was totally uninitiated other than “Yo did you hear anything about Doug Pederson having an affair in KC?” Click to embiggen –

*It should be clarified that the person in the texts told me Howie allegedly called Andy after finding out the details and didn’t go up to him in person. Big Red was not at the combine because of some knee surgery.

Advertisement

All righty then. Two sources with inside information who, without encouragement, said essentially the same thing. I also reached out to another person that shall remain anonymous who was straight SHOOK when I brought up the subject, but they did say that a lot of people in the Eagles organization “Know about Doug” and “Shit you won’t even believe”. Could it all be one massive conspiracy or just outright lies? Of course. None of these people want to go on the record (and therefore be corroborated) and there hasn’t been one inkling of anything in the mainstream sports media. But let’s pretend like it is true for a second…

I couldn’t care less if Doug Pederson is a cheating scumbag and slaying his secretary. There are a lot of savages like that in the world. Big whoop. I care more about how Andy Reid didn’t want Pederson back and used his good standing with the Eagles to influence them to give Pederson a look – Something no other NFL team even thought about doing. That’s what would get me if any of this smoke becomes fire. Andy Reid killing two birds with one stone by getting rid of one of his longest and loyal buddies in the form of a promotion and screwing over his old team, WHO HE IS NOW COMPETING WITH IN THE NFL. Even more damaging is the claim Big Red and Pederson made up the fact DP was calling plays in the second half. Think about that. This isn’t JV football where the history teacher/head coach can dish off the play calls to young substitute gym teacher in the 2nd half to get his feet wet as an assistant. This is the NFL. Why would anybody even think about doing that? Some actual video/audio evidence from KC’s sidelines would confirm/deny that. As for the local media not coming out on this, the only explanation I was given is they’re scared. The Eagles front office is totalitarian. It wouldn’t shock me one bit if a gag order was put on this in order for people to keep their jobs or continue to have access to the team.

Now why am I doing this then? Well, in short, I simply don’t give a fuck. What are they going to do, take away my press pass? I don’t know if any of this true. Quite honestly, I don’t want it to hold water. I hope Doug Pederson is a good guy, this all is extreme BS, and we ride our squad into the sunset of a Super Bowl victory someday. But I can’t deny my eyes and ears. There’s simply too much corroborating information here to keep the fanbase in the dark, again, if it is true. I guess we’ll find out soon enough…