Charles Barkley Proclaims He Won't Eat Until The Lakers Win A Game
Well it looks like it’s tits up for Chuck. The Lakers are 0-5 and if they don’t beat the 2-3 Hornets it may be awhile before getting that first W. Barkley may be as good as dead. Actually, maybe not. It takes what, 2 weeks for a normal person’s body to start eating itself before starving to death? The Round Mound Of Rebound has enough meat on his bones to where his body can enjoy a first class buffet off itself for a couple years. That man has never met a mozzarella stick he didn’t like.
However, if Kobe sprains his shit then Sir Charles is as good as dead. So goodnight, sweet Charles. We hardly knew thee. Oh wait, yeah we did. Obligatory Charles Barkley’s Top 10 Quotes Of All Time:
10. “I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I’d work for the Klan.”
9. On his 17-year old daughter not dating yet: “Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn’t start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won’t have to kill anybody before I get inducted.”
8. Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: “Phone home.” And later he remarks to Kenny, “Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he’s not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon.”
7. Asked if he had ever been in the governor’s office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. “They don’t let many black people in the governor’s mansion in Alabama,” he said, “unless they’re cleaning.”
6. “When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.”
5. On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: “Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss’s wife having sex with a monkey.”
4a. On national TV on Valentines day: “I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.”
4b. “If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she’s ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can’t play a lick. Same thing.”
3. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says, “Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me.”
2. After retiring from basketball: “I’m just what America needs – another unemployed black man.
1. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge:
Judge: “Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?”
Charles: “Yeah I regret we weren’t on a higher floor”
h/t Tim